Permission

A friend recently recommended that I sign up The Daily Love, described as a "FREE daily e-multivitamin for your soul!" Some days have spoken to me more than others, but today's really struck a chord, so much so that I thought I'd share a blurb that is pretty much rocking my world right now. (FYI I changed "The Divine" to "God" because that's how it speaks to moi. Also fixed a major grammatical error - who's vs. whose = major pet peeve.) Merci, Mastin. I needed this.

"So whose approval or permission do you think you need to live your dreams? Make a list. And then realize that the only person’s approval or permission you need is your own. Give yourself permission to live your calling, your purpose and your dream. God gave it to you so express in this lifetime. Giving yourself permission to be yourself is the best way to let God guide your life – because that’s why He created you."

 

Perspective

As I was watching the Rachel Zoe Project the other night (yay for DVR!), I was reminded of a conversation that Roomie Deux et moi had at the beach last Sunday. First, let me tell you about Roomie Deux. She's from Louisiana comme moi and moved to NYC after getting her MBA to work in fashion. She's brunette, pretty and has the perfect little bod in which she rocks all of her fabulous little outfits. Needless to say, I was un peu intimidated (and yes, tres jelly) by her when I moved in. Luckily, she's amazingly sweet, down to earth, and a genuinely good person.

As we were laying on the beach, I asked her what she did on Saturday. Apparently, she woke up on Saturday morning to go volunteer and serve at a food kitchen for the elderly. It was her first time volunteering but she had wanted to do so for awhile. While she was there, she met a woman who told her that she volunteers 2-3 times a week. When Roomie asked her why she wasn't a "leader" within the group, the woman responded with, "Oh yes... they're always telling me to do that. But to be a leader, you have to organize and sends lots of email, and well, I don't have a computer at home." As in, she can't afford to have a computer at home. Roomie told me that at that moment, she felt really, really bad about being too lazy to volunteer until now. This sweet woman, who was older and worked a full-time job as well, makes time to volunteer 2-3 times a week for those less fortunate than her. And she can't afford a computer. Roomie said, "It just really put things into perspective." And I responded with, "It's really important to do that in this city."

The thing about New York City is... it IS fabulous. But it's also full of sadness that becomes all too easy to ignore when you're in your own bubble of SATC bliss. Working at the corporate office of one of the top department stores in the country, Roomie Deux often loses perspective. Multiple-thousand dollar pairs of shoes, bags, and outfits become the norm, and you forget what reality really looks like. This is one of my greatest fears about working in fashion... it's too easy to get caught up in that world and forget that, at the end of the day, it's just shoes, bags, and clothes. I love fashion... I've loved fashion for a very long time. I read fashion blogs religiously, subscribe to every major fashion publication, and revel in the idea that I live in NYC - home to multiple designer sample sales per week (often occurring in my very neighborhood). But fashion? Is not that important. And it's incredibly important to put things into perspective, especially for moi, especially when it comes to fashion.

Watching Rachel and Brad prepare for the Fashion for Relief Haiti fashion show, freak out over the lack of shoes and the imminent doom of what will happen is x model does not show up, I was reminded of perspective. And then walks in a dashing young male model, who had just escaped Haiti and experienced the earthquake firsthand. And there goes Rachel, running into the next room, wiping away tears. In a small way, I know how she feels. It's easy to get wrapped up in the ease and comfort of your own world and to ignore the reality that is the world. I do it all the time. I've thrown myself many pity parties over the last few weeks, and as I complained about my "life as a poor girl" here in NYC the other night, my friends gently reminded/teased me saying, "Yes, your poor life, Carolyn. You and your pink room and your DVR. Poor you!" They are right. I am privileged, incredibly privileged and have been been fortunate enough to be that way for my entire life. And while things, particularly money, are tighter now, I still have a pretty rich life. I need to remember that.

Also? I need to volunteer.

Finding My Way Back

It is HAWT in the District. It's like 95 degrees and humid as a swamp kind of hot. But luckily, I met Valerie from City Life Eats at Cafe Green in Dupont for a spectacular vegan brunch and had one of the most delicious beverages of my life. It was a coconut water/coconut meat/raw cacao/agave iced smoothie concoction that rocked my freaking world and made the heat ever so slightly more bearable. Merci Valerie for introducing me to such a fabulous eatery! I will most definitely be back.

This quick trip to DC was just what the doctor ordered. DC is much quieter and un peu slower than the daily hustle and bustle of New York City. I've enjoyed the quiet here. That being said, I'm eager to get back to the city (and the afternoon shade that the tall buildings provide). Last night while we were out, I told my friend J that when I realized that I only had one more day here, I immediately thought, "Boooo I don't want to go back to Austin and go back to work..." And then I realized, HA - I don't have to!! And I must confess, it was a very, very good feeling indeed.

Being here has also reminded me to write this very post which I've been meaning to write for the past couple of weeks. For the past 6-8 months, I've been in a weird place. I've been sort of anti all things self-help/yoga/deeply introspective/whatever. I stopped journaling. I stopped practicing yoga. I stopped reading and collaging. And I stopped wanting to read that kind of content on the blogosphere or anywhere else. I just kind of shut down that formerly big part of my life and went elsewhere. I still can't fully explain why, but I am happy to report that since moving to NYC, I've discovered that I am slowly but surely finding my way back to that place. It probably won't ever be where or what it was before, but I think that's a good thing. I'm journaling again, I'm finding my way back to the mat, I'm eager to tear inspirational images or words out of magazines, and I'm rediscovering some truly beautiful blogs. It's a good thing.

My life has changed so drastically in the past few months that I'm often completely unaware of where I am, what I'm doing, why I'm doing it or where I'm going. I've always been the opposite. I always knew what my step was, whether I liked it or not, and not knowing for the first time in my life is both incredibly freeing and extremely terrifying. I'm more thankful than ever to have this blog as an outlet to not only share my triumphs and struggles with you, but to connect with so many of you who have either been through this before or are currently experiencing it now. Isn't it wonderful? It will never cease to amaze me how powerful the blogosphere has been and how lucky I am to have met (both virtually and physically) all of you amazing individuals. Je t'adore beaucoup. I hope you had a divine weekend. See you Monday...

The Snooze (and Shopping Hiatus)

You Snooze, You Lose

That couldn't be more true. Some of you commented on the last post that hitting the snooze is a bad habit from which you suffer as well. Glad to hear I'm not alone! The longer I work, the more I hit snooze. It's bad. (It also doesn't help that the Blackberry alarm's first option is "Snooze for 5 min.") And I am 100% totally and completely convinced that the more you snooze, the more you lose. In other words, not waking up immediately after the first alarm blares means more difficulty getting up when you actually decide that you cannot call in sick and spend the day dreaming away.

I typically find myself in one of 2 scenarios:

1. Alarm blares. I can't bear the thought of getting out of my warm and comfy bed because I didn't get enough sleep last night (probably b/c I was up way too late watching Netflix episodes of Law & Order: SVU). Lola is adorably snuggled up against me. Snooze at least 3 times before getting up.

2. Alarm blares. I can't bear the thought of getting out of my warm and comfy bed because I've been having a great night of sleep, at least 8 hours, and I want more more more. I am, no doubt, in the middle of one of those deep, vivid and pleasant dreams. Each time I hit snooze and shut my eyes once more, I am immediately transported back to my dream. Sleep is so good. Snooze at least 3 times before getting up.

Both scenarios suck. The moral of the story? Don't hit snooze. It's bad news. Every article and blog post I've read about "becoming an early riser" says to set your alarm every day for the exact same time and to stretch and spring out of bed immediately after the alarm goes off. The first time.

Admittedly, I did not follow this rule this morning. I could not, for the life of me, fall asleep last night despite being in bed by 10. I knew I had to be at work before 8 a.m. today (that's REALLY early for moi) so I knew I needed lots of sleep. I didn't get it. I tossed and turned until 2 a.m., and even when I heard the alarm go off, I knew I had yet to fall into a deep reverie. I hit snooze twice.

So, from now on, there's a new policy in my house. Absolutely NO SNOOZIN'. Who's with me??

Shopping Hiatus (Attempt Deux)




Remember last year when I implemented a self-imposed shopping ban for a month and failed miserably? Yeah. This time we're doing things differently. Following suit from Joslyn's shopping hiatuses, I'm going to attempt to not buy extraneous and unnecessary items, but if I do mess up (and inevitably I will), I will come clean on the blog and move on. That way, there's no guilt or pressure but I'm still held accountable. Sound good?

Bonjour, September!

How sad is it that this under 100 degree weather we've been having in Texas makes me think Fall is actually getting nearer? Ha. The fact that I don't go outside and immediately break out into a sweat is a miracle. Vancouver's 60-degree highs for this weekend will be a HUGE shock to my system, that's for sure.

On another note, can you believe it's September?? I've said it before and I'll say it again, 2009 is FLYING by. Soooo I guess it's time to see how I did on my August goals, oui?

AUGUST GOALS:

*Stick to cash-only envelope system - YES! This is, by far, my greatest success. I've been sticking to my budget, and it's amazing. I have... excess! Yay yay yay, absolutely love having control of my finances for the first time in my life!! Merci beaucoup to Jennifer! Without her, I never would've gotten here.

*No clothing purchases - This was mostly a success. I made 2 exceptions to my no-shopping rule: (1) I bought the TranquiliT leggy because they were 40% off, and I'm in desperate need of new yoga pants/leggings. (2) Bday shopping at Anthropologie with my 15% discount. I'm OK with those exceptions and was tres good otherwise. :)

*Bring lunch to work 2X/week - FAIL. I think I only did this one week.

*C25k 2X/week (Couch to 5k running program) - SEMI-FAIL. I def. did it at least once a week, and maybe 2x a week for a couple weeks.

*Bed by 11 p.m. and other Abundant AM's steps (micromovements to a morning ritual) - COMPLETE AND UTTER FAIL!!! This has been sooooooo unbelievably hard for moi. :(

*Complete 2 lessons of Rosetta Stone French - Also complete and utter FAIL.

*Ignore inner critic and squash judgmental voice (more on this later) - Sort of better, but still struggling beaucoup.

*Embrace 26 - YES!! This birthday was one of the best. I felt OODLES of love and support, and I think 26 will be a wonderful year!

I know my September will be busy and full of a lot of non-negotiables, like work. In anticipation of that, I want my goals to be a bit lighter this month. And now, without further ado, voila my

September Goals:

~ Improve/reduce dining out spending (this is where I have the most trouble, surprisingly)

~ Love my body as it is RIGHT NOW, not 5 years ago or sans 30 lbs, etc. (this will prob. be an ongoing goal, but thought I'd put it in here anyway!)

~ Finish book club books before book clubs meet (The Lovely Bones and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society)

~ Create and stick to my Balancing Rules, aka the rules I have implemented in order to maintain balance in my life. As a dear friend said, I. Come. First.

~ Work on my morning ritual

~ And most importantly, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! I have a major problem with guilt over the stupidest things. I want to learn to let go of this guilt, it has no positive effect on my life.

What are your September goals?

{photo credit: NixieMichelle on flickr}

E-book Review: Discovering Your Right Livelihood

I had the immense pleasure of being offered a chance to check out this fabulous e-book from the amazing and inspiring Ana of Creatuitive Coaching. As someone who is on a (seemingly) constant quest to carve my authentic path, I was more than delighted to indulge in this interactive workbook. As I'm sure many of you know, there are oodles of books on the market aimed at this sort of self-discovery. The thing I love the most about Discovering Your Right Livelihood, and what I think makes it so valuable, is that it is an affordable and eco-friendly 14-page e-book that you can (and will) actually complete. How many times have you started a self-help book, with the highest of intentions, only to find it 8 months later, covered in dust and under your bed? Exactly. Another wonderful about Discovering is that because it is an e-book, you can complete it time and time again. The exercises inside it are as appropriate for the first timer who decides it's time to discover her passions as well as for the well-seasoned regular who engages in self-exploration on a full-time basis. I highly recommend it!

Also, right now Ana is offering a special reduced price 60-minute coaching session via phone with the purchase of her e-book. Find out more about it here.

Merci beaucoup, Ana, for this delicious gem!!