@$#!%!!!

To say i'm in a bad mood would be... an understatement. I've been in what you might call a "bad mood" for quite some time now (like.. maybe the last month?), and as the new year approaches, i really really want to do something about it. The thing is, i don't know what the hell my problem is. Nothing in my life is particularly bad, and sure there are annoyances here and there, but what else is new? Yet i feel more unable than ever to cope with remotely stressful or frustrating situations, and i always break down in petit fits of rage (imagine screaming and some throwing of things) and tears (bit fat ones... oh and sobbing). Like right now? I'm so OVER car shopping it's unreal.. car shopping AND dealing with my Father when it comes to car shopping. Was it my decision to get a new car RIGHT Now? No, it wasn't. I made the mature decision to wait awhile until I felt more financially comfortable. In the end, am I glad that i'm getting a new car (more importantly, one with a working CD player?)? Mais bien sur, who doesn't want a new car. But i hate, hate, HATE the process and just wish someone would tell me where to sign so i can get the whole thing over with.

Another thing, i can't find my bluetooth headset ANYMORE, and i have a feeling my mischievous (read: mother f*cking) pets got ahold of it, and it's now either in Lola's stomach or somewhere I'll never find it. WHY pets, WHY? Do I not give you everything you so desire? And while we're on the topic of pets, my darling little pup has decided that she's 1 month old again and has urinated and defecated all OVER my apartment. Why? Is she not going out at regular intervals? Of course she is! Clearly I must be giving her too much food and water b/c the skinny little mongrel can't seem to KEEP IT IN.

Do you see what i mean? I'm angry at my pets for doing normal pet things. I'm angry because I "have" to buy a new car. I'm angry because i have parents who care. I just want to go away to a quiet, serene and private place and figure out what the problem is because this cannot continue. This "mood" has affected my diet, my energy, my work ethic, my relationships, and my general... aura. I'm not a positive person to be around these days so I don't blame people for wanting to stay away. By the same token, I don't want to be around most people! (See above.)

Well a lack of sleep certainly won't help the situation, and since I have to wake up and work out with D tomorrow morning, i'm going to try to pass out. I'd bet a shot of tequila would help.

Team Edward

First and foremost I'd like to apologize for my pathetic lack of blogging. Adjusting to work life is WAY harder than i had anticipated... and i hate to admit it, but i'm still not there. In fact, i'm sort of hating the fact that my day-to-day has been reduced to a desk job. Don't get me wrong, i'm INCREDIBLY grateful that i have such a wonderful job in such a tough economy. Listening to Morning Edition on NPR every morning and getting my rather depressing NYTimes updates keeps me grateful. I am. Thankful. Very. BUT, part of me sort of wishes i could go back to college for a little bit. Even law school (post first year, that is). Because then, if i wanted to, i could sit on my couch with Lola and read the Twilight series over and over and over... And i could listen to the new Britney album as LOUD as i want. And i could google Zac Efron and download HSM songs. (Did i mention that i've become a tween lately? That's right. I love High School Musical, Britney (but let's be honest, i've ALWAYS loved Britney), and yes, i've jumped on the Twilight bandwagon.)

Breathe. I need to breathe. Twilight and the world of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen (and yes, OK, Jacob too) has sucked me in faster and harder than i thought possible. No WONDER everyone is in hysterics over this damn series. It's A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Stephenie Meyer, you are a GENIUS. Never before have i become so ridiculously emotionally attached to fictional characters. And i've always been a fast reader, but i've literally been swallowing these books whole. I read the first in the series, Twilight, over Thanksgiving weekend. New Moon I got through Sunday night. Eclipse I read Monday night, and yes, i just spent my lunch break driving to Target to get a copy of Breaking Dawn (one of the last 3!). I. Am. Obsessed. And i am Team Edward ALL the way. I want me an Edward Cullen more than anything right now, yes even more than real live human man. I think i've developed a penchant for very pale boys.. ahem men.

And no, i have not seen the movie. That's tomorrow night. I know i'll be disappointed but i don't care. I want as much Twilight as possible. And i'll probably see it again. And again. I have a problem.

Um, in other news, looks like i'll be getting a new car sooner than i thought. It's definitely not my choice (as i had made the very responsible decision to wait since i had a perfectly capable, PAID OFF car in my possession), but i gotta do it. Once upon a time i would've loved an excuse to buy a gorgeous new luxury vehicle, but the reality of debt and this financial crisis are taking its toll (yes, even on moi). So i'm looking into 1 or 2-year old cars... maybe an Acura TSX or TL, maybe a Lexus, maybe a 3-Series? I don't know. Maybe even a Prius if i can get my hands on a 2010. I'm so not looking forward to visiting car dealerships (and dealing with creepy, craptastic car salesmen), esp. since i have no Edward Cullen to ensure that i don't get taken advantage of. Notes to self: do your research and don't say "like". Emphasize the ATTORNEY occupation. Don't wear pink.