Rando

{image credit: here]

The week continues to be challenging, but guess what?  We're more than half-way through!  WOO HOO!  Checked off my list: bridesmaid dress fitting (not nearly as painful as I anticipated), 1 tedious project at work, birthday cards/prezzies shopping for special people (including my dad - I got him a Tumi wallet from Bloomies), and writing/mailing snail mail.  Still on my list?  Fun karaoke night with friends tomorrow night, massage Friday night and going to the post office to mail aforementioned prezzies (le sigh... dreading this one).

Here are some random things keeping me happy (and sane):

- Jane Borden on NPR Friday afternoon.  I just finished her memoir (North Carolina Southerner meets Brooklyn), and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Even had a couple of LOL moments (on the subway - awwwkward).

- Had drinks with a friend at Bar Basque apres work yesterday, and they had some yummy drink with St. Germain, an elderflower liqueur.  I'm dying to get my hands on a bottle (and may just have to do just that this weekend).  Not only is it beautiful, but it's got such a great story.  I plan to make some of this when I get it.  (Ironically, I did not actually order the drink so I'm not really sure what it tastes like, but it can't possibly be bad... right?)

- Speaking of last night (and spending too much money on food and drink), I had a fantastic dinner at Scarpetta with my dear friend Stephanie.  Braised octopus, homemade pasta and one of the best bread baskets I've ever had... yummmm.

- Picked up this gem the other day and fully intend to visit some of these places (including a couple of free meditation centers).  Everyone in this city needs peace and quiet.

- Came across this quote today and found it most appropo of my mood this week:

"Tell everyone you know: "My happiness depends on me, so you're off the hook." And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they're doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel-and then, you'll love them all. Because the only reason you don't love them, is because you're using them as your excuse to not feel good."

- Esther Hicks, is a best-selling author and motivational speaker.

P.S.

Changes

{photo: weheartit}

Lately I've noticed that I've taken on some characteristics I never thought I would.  Some of these are good, some are bad, but all around, I'm pretty pleased.

THE GOOD: 

I've become a person who...

• looks forward to going to work and doesn't mind staying late
• smiles for the majority of the day
• can't wait to go running every other day and gets upset if life gets in the way
• is disgusted by smell and sight of meat cooking
• writes 750 words most mornings before work

THE BAD:

I've become a person who...

• feels the need to eat crappy candy (Twix, Kit Kat, etc.) every afternoon (I entirely blame Hallowen)
• thinks that puffy jackets can be cute 
• drinks Coke Zero when it's around
• can't live without her iPhone

All in all, I'm feeling extremely lucky and incredibly grateful.  Life is good.  I cannot complain.  And tonight I'm road tripping to the Cape for a cozy weekend w/ dear friends.  Have a good one!!

Move Your Body, Girl

I have never been one to approach exercise as anything but that - exercise.  Something I do because it's "good for me" (whatever the heck that means) and because it will help me lose weight / get fit / feel better about my body.  I have never, EVER understood those people who exercise for mental reasons.  Sure, I've read countless magazine articles about how exercising acts as a natural anti-depressant and relieves stress, but I didn't quite believe it until today. 

Yesterday I finally made it to a yoga class in an attempt to clear my completely overactive and super negative mind.  Yoga is one "exercise" that I do primarily for my mind, less for my body (although HELLO, yoga totally rocks the bod, too!).  The class was lovely, the studio beautiful and calming, the teacher one of the best I've ever had.  But as I rolled myself back for a much-deserved savasana, I could not, for the life of me, quiet my thoughts, and like most days, I left feeling good in my body, but not in my mind.

Quel nightmare!  Are you saying yoga can't even give me some mental breathing space?  Argh.  I was frustrated beyond belief, and last night, I totally and completely broke down (yes... again).  I called Momma Park, and she was a rockstar.  Y'all, remember this post?  Yeah, she lied.  She has SO been there for me 110% and then some, and lemme tell ya, I'm not exactly the easiest person to talk to when I'm bawling my eyes out.  But she's been wonderful, and last night, she gave me exactly what I needed: comfort, a pep talk, a reality check, and lots and LOTS of love.  So I went to bed with tres puffy eyes, but feeling a bit better.

I woke up feeling meh again and had absolutely no desire to go to Zumba.  I wanted solitude, but I also needed exercise.  The forecast for today was 70 degrees and sunny, and so I laced up my running shoes and headed to the West Side Highway to do something I never do - run outside.

Most people prefer running outdoors, but I never have.  It feels harder to me, and I don't like not knowing how far I've gone, what speed I'm running, etc.  But today, I just hit play on my adorable hot pink iPod shuffle and went for it, and guess what?  IT WAS AWESOME!!!  And my mind just let go of all the stress/uncertainty/pain/sadness/frustration, and my body let me run longer and farther (which is not saying much btw) than it has in a long time.  Oh, bliss.

And then I came home, smiling and calm for the first time in over a week, and got 2 really good pieces of news.  Coincidence?  

{image credit: www.sheknows.com}

Triste

{image credit: we heart it}

I'm sad right now.

I'm all over the place these days. It's frustrating. One day I feel like my life is falling to pieces and the next I'm on top of the world. I know what's bugging me... deep down. But I can't talk about it, not even with people in my real world. I know I'm honest on this blog, but there's so much I wish I could write here that I can't. I read Kirsten's blog, and I'm like wow, I really admire her brutal honesty. The highs and the lows, ya know? That's what life is about. Here's one thing I'll confess: I have an interview tomorrow, and I really don't want to go. And yet I'm terrified that I won't find a good job. What's up with that? Here's another thing I'll confess: New York makes me feel really unattractive and undesirable. Yuck. I want to feel confident and beautiful, and I don't know if I want to live in a city that doesn't nurture that. Then again, is it really the city that matters? Isn't it... the person?

It's late, and I really need to go to bed. So I can wake up early (ish). And prep for my interview. And put on a suit that makes me feel frumpy. And hopefully have a better day. (Although actually, my day was pretty fantastic. Tonight just sucks.)

Oh and the season premiere of Glee is really, really, REALLY good.

Bon nuit.

I Hate NY

Y'all, I'm not gonna lie, it's been a challenging week. And I'm really, really hating NY right now and really, really wishing I lived in boring but easy and happy suburbia right now. Indulge me for a bit and allow me to vent, yes? Thanks.

I'm sick of sweating the minute I step outside. I'm sick of not being able to wear cute clothes or my hair down or accessories b/c I know, I KNOW, that I'll end up a hot, sweaty, stinky mess. The 90+ degree temperatures have arrived, and let's be honest, even when it was "only" in the 80's, the humidity here is so ridiculous that I sweat anyway. I'm over it. I want highs of 60's. Hell, I'd even settle for highs in the 30's right now (although I really, really need to do some shopping first).

I'm SO sick of the miserable people who work in the service industry here. Anyone from your local Duane Reade cashier to the hostess at Pipa (who was a ginormous bitch. I don't like using that word, but she was. She WAS.) to the completely and totally inept customer service people working at Time Warner New York... I can't stand any of you. I realize you're miserable and hate your lives, but MUST you be so awful? (I will, however, say that I've never had a less than pleasant experience with the cashiers at my Trader Joe's, so THANK YOU! Whole Foods? You're another story...)

I'm sick of people here in general.

I am really sick of how expensive everything is. It's just... ugh. I can't leave the house without money FLYING out of my wallet. Guess what, NYC? You're not worth it sometimes.

I'm sick of my little room and overstuffed closet. Yes, I have a darling little room and more than decent NY closet space. But. I used to have shoe shelves and a ginormous walk-in closet, and well, I miss them.

I'm sick of having to walk everywhere. The idea of living in a walkable city was one of the most appealing aspects of NYC. But now? I'm over it. And you know what, taxis suck - the drivers are insane and I almost puke every time I get in one. And normally I'd be a huge fan of the subway, but they're like mini saunas in the summer AND they're getting more expensive. (Because, ya know, this city isn't expensive enough. Adding insult to injury... ugh.) I miss my car. (Thank goodness it's now my sister's car so I will be driving it in about a week.)

I'm sick of being so far away. I want to see my Mom damn it. I want to hug her and kiss her and eat her delicious food and sleep in her bed. And I don't want to wait until Thanksgiving to do so.

I'm sick of not being able to wear my heels here unless I want my feet to die. Due to a combination of uneven sidewalks, and well, having to walk everywhere, my killer heels are doing little more than collecting dust.

I'm sick of living in a house whose filth I'm not entirely responsible for. While I adore my roomies and we had a super fun wine & tapas dinner last night, I don't love cleaning up after them. So much so that I've pretty much given up on the kitchen floor. People who wear shoes inside their homes are guaranteed disgusting floors, that's all I'm sayin!

Honestly, I could go on and on, but I don't think you want to hear it (and I don't think it's healthy). I'm holding onto the fact that in one week, I will be in California, in Ma Soeur's beautiful San Jose home, soaking in a ginormous bath tub with all kinds of LUSH goodness, cuddling with my darling Lola bear (who, btw, my sis and bro-in-law have started calling Lola Ebola...), cooking in her gourmet and meticulously clean kitchen, driving my car, visiting Tarjay on a daily basis and enjoying cool evenings (and even some lows in the 30's when we go to Tahoe!).

Hope your week/life's been better than mine lately. ;) Love you!!

Friday I'm in Love

{image: flickr}

Actually, this Friday I'm not in love. This week has been... odd. Thankfully, it went by very quickly, and I'm welcoming the weekend with open arms. My tentative plans include yoga, the gym, a bbq in Prospect Park, and then of course a day o fun on Sunday avec Ma Soeur. She couldn't be coming at a better time.

I'm determined to pull myself out of this week's slump. Next week I hope to wake up early, do lots of yoga and lots of running, visit museums, explore neighborhoods (the weather is supposed to stay in the 80's - woohoo!!), and remind myself why I love this city.

Last night I ate spicy Korean tofu soup and saw Inception (HIGHLY recommend it). Remember when Leo DiCaprio was gorgeous? Yeah... not so much anymore. But he is a damn good actor.

Bon weekend, my darlings! Love you lots.

Dat 27... Dilation

Today was a Monday in every sense of the word. And apparently Monday's when you're not working at a soul-sucking desk job can be just as bad as those Monday's when you were. My day started late, as I was unable to fall asleep AGAIN until the wee hours of the morning. After doing some work on the macbook, I headed out for my eye doctor's appointment and was immediately hit with the most sweltering, swampy heat ever. I immediately regretted my outfit of pinks shorts and a drapey tee and wished I had worn my skimpiest bikini instead. By the time I got to my dear doctor's office, I was disgusting and literally had to pat myself down with paper towels so as to not disgust everyone around me.

Then my oh-so-pleasant eye doctor (who was really nice, but a typical NY style know-it-all jerk with little patience who dissed TX and then told me what lawyers should know how to do) proceeded to do all kinds of things to my eyes and put what felt like 100 drops of various who-knows-what onto my eyeballs (and in the process tugged repeatedly at the delicate skin under my eye which DON'T YOU KNOW DOCTOR IS THE SKIN THAT AGES ON WOMEN THE FASTEST???). An hour later I left with sore eyes, wrinkles and a complete lack of clear vision.

Naturally it started raining as I walked home. Once I got home, I discovered that I had missed the UPS guy who was delivering my new blender. And then I came back to my computer to realize that I completely suck at finding a job. I can't even write a good cover letter, for crying out loud, and then I really REALLY felt stupid and my eyes hurt and I couldn't see a damn thing and I was rude to my sister who is just trying to help me but clearly thinks i'm a slacking idiot and I ordered fried food to comfort me but it just made me violently ill and I just wanted to give up and crawl into a hole for a long, long time. So I turned off all the lights, pulled the shades, lit a candle, blasted the A/C, and covered my eyes for the next couple of hours.

And now I can see, but I'm still feeling incredibly ... stupid. What happened to me? What happened to my abilities? Law school is what happened. And being a lawyer. It destroyed my ability to write/think/act in a NON-legal (and therefore creative and interesting) manner, and now I feel like I am no more prepared to find a job than any bright-eyed and bushy-tailed 22-year old college graduate who likely does NOT have a mountain of student loan debt.

Sigh.

I'm just having a bad day. Mondays suck. Hope yours was better.

Not-So-Happy Monday

I'm in a funk. I woke up exhausted. It's dark and persistently rainy outside (which I would normally welcome if i could stay in bed all day). For the last three days I've had an annoying ache in the lower arch/heel part of my right foot, and this morning it was downright painful to walk. I forgot my watch. And earrings. My eyeliner smudged. And I'm just... tired. I crave solitude, a big bed, comforting tea, & melancholy music (like the new Beach House album - fantastico). Oh and no responsibilities!

What to do when you are uber crabby, have zero energy, and don't have the luxury of sulking in bed in a frothy white tutu?

Go away, funk.

{image credit: Anna Gay}

Winding Down

Bonjour, dear friends! It's been awhile since I've typed a proper post, and oh how I've missed you. Were your Christmas's fantastic? Ours was kind of nutso, as I experienced my first white Christmas here in Dallas, Texas. Can you believe it?? Unfortunately it meant that I spent 99% of Christmas Eve alone at home (avec Lola, thank G) praying that my sister's flight would get in safely, and that my entire family would make it back from the airport. (It took them hours to get home!) Luckily everyone made it home safe and sound, and we had a late-night dinner and present-opening shindig, and all was well.

Now it's about to be New Year's Eve... crazy! I've been fortunate enough to spend this week with my family. My aunt and uncle from Canada flew in on Monday, and we've all been having a ball. The anxiety is starting to creep up on me, unfortunately, and I'm getting un peu nervous about returning to the real world on Monday. It's not just work in general that I'm dreading, but the specific work in question that I know is waiting for me. It's... well, it's scary. And I don't want to do it. But I have to. And... yeah.

Today I saw Avatar in IMAX 3d, and it was quite possibly the best movie I've ever seen. I didn't expect to love it so much, but I did, and after I left the theater I couldn't help but feel sad. I didn't want to be in the real world, I wanted to escape back into that magical land. Isn't that what movies are all about? Taking you out of the present, even if just for a little while? (Or in Avatar's case, a long while?) I haven't felt that way in a long time, and it's been tres difficult to digest.

But alas, here I am. I'm going to try and make the most of the rest of my trip and stay positive about the future. In any case, I raise my champagne coup to you for a FABULOUS New year!!! It's going to be a good one, I can tell. ;) I hope you spend it with those you love!!

Positive Polly!

Bonjour, my darlings! I missed you dearly while I was in California, but augh, can I just say? BEST. TRIP. EVER. I am literally counting down the days until Christmas vacay when Lola and I will have an entire WEEK w/ my FAB sis and bro and little Sofie monster!! (P.S. The pic is from dinner Friday night - love the glowy/blurry-ness of it!)

My sadness over leaving Ma Soeur hit me late on Sunday. I really, really did not want to hop on a plane back to reality. I thought that once I landed, I would for sure get tres depressed and spend the evening crying on the couch (per usual). But I surprised myself. Instead of sulking, I got busy! Working, unpacking, etc. and before I knew it, I was ready for work today. As for today, well, it has been pretty crappy work-wise (lots of h8ers!), BUT somehow I've been positive polly despite that! Amazing!

Tonight = more unpacking, more working, watching The City, and eating leftover kale and white bean ragout with hot, crunchy and buttery baguette. Yay! Oh and hopefully blogging all about my trip avec beaucoup de pictures!

Mental Monday

{Image from here}

Bonjour, mes amies! I'm doing things a little bit differently this Monday. Instead of my Happy Monday list, I am instead writing about something near and dear to my heart: mental health. Just this morning on NPR, I listened to story about a Stanford theater group that just put on a"show" about just that.

Here's an exerpt from the NPR article:

"Some are first hit with the illness in college. Stanford University senior Amanda Gelender found herself battling a deep depression for the first time her freshman year. After weeks of going it alone, exhausted and "crying under the covers for hours" in the dorm, she says, she finally called her doctor. She was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder and found significant relief, she says, with the right medication and other support that enabled her to stay on campus and even keep up her near 4.0 grade average.

Still, for years, she never told friends, professors or dorm-mates of her diagnosis or ongoing struggle. "I felt like the most isolated person in the world," she says of that time. "I didn't feel like anybody would understand what I was going through."

Last January, Gelender broke her silence. She's the co-founder of a student theater group called Stanford Theatre Activist Mobilization Project (STAMP), and for a project last winter, STAMP solicited anonymous true-life letters from classmates living with depression, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder and other mental health problems. In January, Gelender and the group dramatized the accounts as monologues in their theater production, Out of Sight, Out of Mind."

Interesting concept... Although the monologues I heard this morning were overacted and borderlinecheesy, the message is very, very real. Mental health is a big deal! But it still has a negative stigma associated with it, which prevents people from seeking help. Tres unfortunate.

Although I'm not shouting it from the rooftops, I've never tried to hide my history with depression. I admit that the idea of it can still make me uncomfortable, especially since most people that meet me assume I'm a particularly bubbly and happy girl. But recently I've been overcome with a wave of fatigue and exhaustion that I haven't felt in a long time. And despite my best intentions to ignore it, fear crept into my mind and took over and thus began the downward spiral. What if I'm depressed again? What will I do? I can't DROP OUT of my job!! Omg omg OMG. (You know the drill...) It doesn't help that I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed at work these days and desperately feel the need to hibernate.

Do I think I'm depressed again? No. I think my body is telling me that I'm tired, and that I need more sleep and rest. And that it's okay to spend a couple days in bed on the weekend if that's what I need. (Also? It's OK to be behind on blogs and online book clubs and all that jazz. Fun stuff like that should never become a burden.) Do I think I need to keep an eye on things? Oui, bien sur. I never want to go back to that dark place, but I also don't want to live in fear of it either. I just have to pay attention to my mind and my body. They will tell me when I need to take it easy. I have to trust them. And should I ever find myself in that place again, I'll be ready for it. After all, I have a pretty incredible team on my side. ;)

Mental health is not an easy topic, and the word "depressed" has become so commonplace that it's easily ignored. But if you really, truly feel like you may be suffering from it or another ailment, I highly suggest that you seek some help. Most insurance policies cover it, and if not, many places offer a sliding scale type payment where they will work with you and what you can afford. And, as always, I'm here for anyone who has questions, needs to vent, or simply needs a friend. Please feel free to email me at carolyn.park@gmail.com.

Have a WONDERFUL Monday, my darlings!!

Running 101 (and then some!)

{Image: Waitin' On A Sunny Day}

Hi, Friends!! I'm in a particularly perky mood for who knows what reason. Maybe it's because the sun is shining (altho it's a balmy 90+ degrees out - ICK) or because i've had a particularly successful day at work and am reminded of why i chose this firm (such good people). Or maybe it's just because i find myself with a petite pocket of time in which to blog a little note to you dear, sweet readers. Whatever it is, i'm taking full advantage and loving it. These super sparkly moods are rare these days!

Also wanted to let you know all about my Running 101 class. It's with a company called Rogue Running here in Austin, and I signed up for it through UT Informal Classes (also the avenue through which i took Bollywood Bhangra). We meet every Monday evening and Saturday morning for about 6 weeks. My first meeting was this past Monday, and i was tres nervous. Currently i am NOT a runner. I've only been a "runner" once in my life, and that was my senior year of college when i (somehow) got into it and started doing 5k's and then training for a half-marathon. About 7 miles in, i got injured and just gave it up (that kind of pain is miserable). And that was that. Have not seriously run since.

I didn't sign up for Running 101 to train for another race. No, i signed up because: (1) i heard great things about the program; (2) this program will teach you how to run sans injury; and (3) because i need some sort of forced exercise. To be perfectly honest (which, as you know, i tend to be on here), i was terrified that come Monday evening, i would be the fattest, slowest and most unfit person in the class. Nobody likes being last. Luckily i was not, and our group consists of women of all ages, sizes and shapes, and 1 lone dude. Most of Monday was intro: explanation of the class, discussion on right jogging bras and shoes, etc. When we finally went outside to "run," it consisted of a series of 20 second jogs then walks, which i happily did. :) Ended up running next to and chatting with a senior from college. Felt way old. Saturday morning is our "long run" of the week, and i'm nervous. Austin is HILLy, and i have no stamina. But i WILL go and i WILL persevere, my friends!

(Also? When discussing the importance of the right running shoes, the coach kept saying how important it is that we reserve our shoes for running and not brunching/running errands/etc. Um, i was like... wow i wouldn't be caught DEAD in running shoes when out to brunch or at Tarjay or basically doing any task that didn't involve exercise. No offense, y'all but... it just wouldn't happen.)

Ce soir I have a long meeting and then will probably crash. Ma Soeur and I stayed up on the phone last night until 2 A.M. discussing our San Francisco plans (more deets to come!) when i visit in November and... Chanel bags. Yes, we discussed Chanel bags for quite some time. Don't judge!

Must get back 2 work, but i want to hear how your day/week is going! Any fun plans for this evening?

Playing Catch-Up

Bonjour, mes amies! This is going to be a scattered and likely nonsensical (is that a word?) post, but I feel the need to write it. Mostly because I need a break from my project, and I'm pretty confident that I'll make my Tuesday deadline (got pushed back - woot).

Le Weekend - So my weekend was... uneventful. My life consisted of the picture below, although sometimes I shook things up and moved everything into the living room. For the record, the black laptop is my work comp., and I was using my mac to watch, um, episodes of The Rachel Zoe Project... which leads me to my next topic.




RZ - I love Rachel Zoe. Admittedly I didn't know much about her before her reality show except that she was super thin and had some falling out with Nicole Richie. I also knew that the "boho-glam" style for which she became famous was right up my alley. I think the show has humanized her a bit, and people are surprised that she's not the anorexic uber-b*tch she was rumored to be. That being said, I'm sure there are oodles of you who think her show is a joke and can't stand her. I get that. But if you hear me gasp, "I. DIE." or "omg her hair is BANANAS," then please don't shoot me. I can't help myself!

Fall Fashion - While we're on the topic of clothes (and shoes and bangles and handbags and all that good stuff!!), a petite word on fall fashion. Fall is undoubtedly the BEST season for fashion, as evidenced by NY Fashion Week and the ridiculously thick September issues of Vogue, Harper's Bazaar and Elle. (Btw you should definitely see The September Issue. LOVES.) There is nothing I adore more than boots and scarves and darling coats and crazy-colored tights. Normally I go nuts as soon as the fall clothes hit the stores (which is now), which is STUPID considering it's still 90 degrees in TX (shoot me in the face, y'all). This year I told myself I could NOT go crazy for obvious reasons. First, I'm on a budget. And second, what is the point of buying items I can't wear for at LEAST another 2 months? It's been... hard. The key for moi is to avoid temptation as much as possible, so I have stayed away from GILT sales, all my fave Austin boutiques, and even Tarjay as much as possible. Le sad.

Another thing I've done is to create a "Fall Wish List" of items that I think are investment pieces and that I actually "need." (I use that term loosely b/c let's be honest, none of NEEDS anything.) Anyway here's a peek at my Fall Fashion Wish List:

1. Black riding-style boots (loving the Frye Paige boots - hear they are good for muscular calves, which i def. have)

2. Classic trench (I haven't had one in years, and let's face it, it's a must-have.)

3. Sequined jacket (this is probably a little less need-y than the others, but it just adds a certain je ne said quo to a basic jeans and t-shirt outfit. j'adore!)

4. Nude ballerina flats (they go with everything, are tres helpful to have at work, and are not terribly trendy. i love the Tory Burch Reva.)

So the thing is, I can't buy any of these items for myself. I'm going to ask for some as Christmas gifts and just hope that others magically appear on my doorstep! ;-)


Things that make me happy today - I love the concept of happy lists. They're just so cheery, n'est ce pas? Here's a petit list of what's making moi happy today...

- big Texas hair (oh yeah... I have it)

- these gorgeous stackable stella & dot rings i got in the mail today, courtesy of Ma Soeur

- the forecast for this week: thunderstorms and lows in the 60's. Unheard of!

- iced coffee & breakfast tacos

- TV tonight! Gossip Girl & The Rachel Zoe Project = my top 2 faves!!

- FREE CABLE (please don't hit me)

- my skin. i am BLESSED with good skin, courtesy of Momma Park, and i often take it for granted. i am so lucky that i can leave the house sans foundation/powder/concealer and look just fine. when i'm hating on my face, belly, legs, arms, aka EVERYTHING else, i try to remind myself of how lucky i am to have pretty skin.

That's all for now, my loves. Must get back 2 work!!

If It Makes You Happy

Remember that Sheryl Crow song? (...it can't be that baaaad.) I loved it. Anyhoo, I am... well, VERY happy right now! And I have been for the last couple weeks. And for someone who spent the majority of the last 3 years of her life very unhappy and often depressed, it feels AMAZING.

It feels like slipping into cold, clean sheets after a long day in the Texas heat. Like the first time the boy you like holds your hand. Like lounging on the beach, sipping a frozen cocktail and reading a really good book. Like laying in this hammock. It's divine.

Why am I so happy? Because...

- My birthday is in 8 days, and so far my plans include: (1) taking the day off (of my actual birthday - a Tuesday) and spending the day doing yoga, swimming at Barton Springs, and having a delicious sushi dinner, all with a gorgeous friend; (2) a fancy afternoon tea at The Crescent in Dallas with gal pals from law school; (3) spending this weekend with my Momma in good ole Rowlett, TX; (4) a few hours at the spa next Saturday; and (5) a super fun birthday potluck dinner Chez moi with a bunch of fun and fabulous friends. YAY 26!!

- My BFFEFEFEFF from college and i have decided to go to Miami over Halloween weekend. Holllaaaa!! I've never been 2 Miami, and I can't wait for our fun reunion! :)

- I'm eating the best green tea ice cream ever.

- I'm signing up for a knitting class AND a running class!

- These were two of the BEST decisions of my life.

I hope YOU are happy, dear readers, because you often make my days the happiest.

Oh Happy Day!

I adore City Girl's happiness lists so much that I'm going to do my own today, as I have beaucoup to be happy about. :)

1 ~ Got a pedi over lunch, and now my toes are a gorgeous shade of flirty fuchsia.

2 ~ I'm getting back on the SWIM bandwagon. Absolutely adore these ladies!

3 ~ Hit the gym yesterday after work, and tonight is Bollywood Bhangra! Yay for working out and feeling good about it.

4 ~ Starting my cash/envelope system budget this week (as prescribed by Pink Heels), and I'm weirdly excited about it! (Ask again how I feel later this week...)

5 ~ And last, but certainly not least, I booked my (absurdly cheap) tickets to DC last night for Kimberly's Hip and Tranquil Year Gala!!!!!! Kimberly said that we can even do some collaging at Beau's cabin afterwards, too! How fun is that?? I am beyond stoked. All you DCers, get ready because this little tomato is going to be in your 'hood from January 15-18, and I want to meet you ALL! :)

Better

Merci beaucoup for all your kind messages re: my stolen phone. It has not been the best 24 hours. Last night I didn't fall asleep until something like 4:45 a.m. because my idiotic neighbors were yelling/laughing/etc. on their balcony from about 10 p.m. to, yes, 4:45 a.m. I even moved to the couch around 1:30 a.m. because it's a little farther away from the noise. Ugh. I'm so over apartment living and yet I don't foresee moving into a house anytime in the near future. Le sigh. Anyhoo, you better believe I called in a noise violation to management first thing today. I kid you not when I say I was 10 seconds away from grabbing my nonexistent gun and going apeshit on those obnoxious college kids.

Sooo, needless to say, I'm exhausted today. But I received good news upon my arrival to work - my (AWESOME) coworker agreed to sell me his Blackberry Bold for only $50. Amazing! IT is working on it now so hopefully I'll be good to go in no time.

Also? I finished all 1014 pages of World Without End over lunch so I am READY for tonight's book club. Bring. It. On.

Now if only I could be as happy as this chick...


{Photo credit}

Happy Monday

Last week, the fabulous City Girl tagged me in her "6 Things That Make Me Happy" post. Since it's Monday (and Monday's aren't known for being particularly happy), I decided this would be a perfect time to create my list. :)

Sooooo voila 6 things that make me happy today:

1. Woke up this morning and went to the gym! Have not done this in a VERY long time.

2. I'm getting my hair highlighted tonight - yay for no more atrocious roots.

3. I have my 2nd career coaching session with Pink Heels tonight. (woot!)

4. I made this yummy spinach/zucchini/brown rice casserole last night and brought it for lunch today. Yay for saving money!

5. You :)

6. I have a very busy upcoming week, including more Bollywood Bhangra, 2 new book club meetings, and an in-office massage!

Happy Girl

I'm in a great mood tonight, mes amies! A GREAT mood. And here's why...

- I was busy at work today (for the first time in a LONG time) so the day flew by. Plus i found the answer (which always helps) and got another assignment that should keep me busy tomorrow!

- My apartment is CLEAN! After weeks of muttering "I've got to deep-clean this filthy place", I finally set aside last Sunday to do some serious cleaning. I'm talking microfiber dusting, grout-scrubbing avec toothbrush, disinfecting any and everything cleaning. It felt good!

- SWIM - Love these ladies, love the idea, love the support, love it all!

- I joined 2 book clubs. :)

- My Bollywood Bhangra class starts on Wednesday - hollllaaa!

- My college BFFEFEFEFF and i are planning a weekend resort getaway, which as you know, is EXACTLY what i need.

- And last, but certainly not least, i had a FABULOUS first coaching session with Pink Heels tonight. I feel inspired, rejuvenated, supported and excited beyond belief. Merci beaucoup, Jennifer!!

What's making you happy these days?

Meet Pierre

I came home yesterday to a bulging FedEx package from Ma Soeur. Inside it was this. Meet Pierre, my new SQUISHABLE sheep!

Knowing i've been having a rough and frustrating time at work (this week being no exception), Ma Soeur thought Pierre would be just the thing to cheer me up. And boy, she was RIGHT! Not being a huge fan of stuffed animals in general (i was way more into barbies and babies), i was really surprised how much tension and stress was relieved by squishing Pierre.



Plus, aren't those pics on the website hilarious?? She got the idea when one of her team members, during a VERY frustrating project, bought a bunch of them and "placed" them around the office. So cute!

I can't wait for Pierre and Lola to be friends. (She's not terribly impressed at the moment.)


Merci, Ma Soeur!!!

Bon, now i'm off to sip coffee, do my mourning pages, run a few errands, and then hit the road for FUNTIMES in San Antonio!!!

Things I'm Happy About

1. TGIT. I spent all day yesterday convinced it was Thursday, and when the reality set in that it was not, i kind of died. Luckily today is, in fact, Thursday which means...

-1 more day until le weekend

-2 more days until i go to San Antonio to have a fun blogger playdate with Sarah (we plan to to eat good food, drink champagne, thrift to our hearts' content, and lay by the pool - divine, n'est ce pas?)

-3 more days until i have a tres French (and undoubtedly delicious) brunch with Lauren at Brasserie Pavil

Of course that brings me again to Sunday night, and let's not even go there because i'm already depressed just thinking about it. UPDATE: Totally forgot i am having a reunion playdate with my dear Matty on Sunday night - yay for something to look forward to!!

2. On a brighter note, i'm thrilled that some of you have gotten your snail mail packages. I've been so exhausted this week so i haven't made up anymore, but hopefully i'll get to do some this weekend before and/or after my trip to SA.

3. Have any of you seen Enlighten Up? I know it showed in DC a little while back. It's opening in Austin tomorrow night, and i'm tempted to make a solo date out of it and lose myself in a dark movie theater (avec smuggled treats). Thoughts?

4. In the midst of my soul-searching, i sent an email to a few dear friends asking, "What am i good at?" Eloquent, huh? But really, i just found myself unable to answer this question on my own and was curious as to how my friends would answer it. I've gotten some wonderful, helpful and heartfelt responses, which of course, j'adore. And now, I open up this question to you, dear readers - What is Carolyn good at?

5. I'm taking my friend J to Sandra Bullock's restaurant BESS BISTO for lunch today. It's her belated birthday lunch, and i'm TRES excited! I have a $25 gift certificate (that i got for $2 via restaurant.com), but the catch is that we have to order $50 worth of food. That means appetizers, entrees, desserts, drinks, cafe's, and leftovers!!

Tell me, mes amies, what's making you happy these days?