Monday, December 29, 2008

@$#!%!!!


To say i'm in a bad mood would be... an understatement. I've been in what you might call a "bad mood" for quite some time now (like.. maybe the last month?), and as the new year approaches, i really really want to do something about it. The thing is, i don't know what the hell my problem is. Nothing in my life is particularly bad, and sure there are annoyances here and there, but what else is new? Yet i feel more unable than ever to cope with remotely stressful or frustrating situations, and i always break down in petit fits of rage (imagine screaming and some throwing of things) and tears (bit fat ones... oh and sobbing). Like right now? I'm so OVER car shopping it's unreal.. car shopping AND dealing with my Father when it comes to car shopping. Was it my decision to get a new car RIGHT Now? No, it wasn't. I made the mature decision to wait awhile until I felt more financially comfortable. In the end, am I glad that i'm getting a new car (more importantly, one with a working CD player?)? Mais bien sur, who doesn't want a new car. But i hate, hate, HATE the process and just wish someone would tell me where to sign so i can get the whole thing over with.

Another thing, i can't find my bluetooth headset ANYMORE, and i have a feeling my mischievous (read: mother f*cking) pets got ahold of it, and it's now either in Lola's stomach or somewhere I'll never find it. WHY pets, WHY? Do I not give you everything you so desire? And while we're on the topic of pets, my darling little pup has decided that she's 1 month old again and has urinated and defecated all OVER my apartment. Why? Is she not going out at regular intervals? Of course she is! Clearly I must be giving her too much food and water b/c the skinny little mongrel can't seem to KEEP IT IN.

Do you see what i mean? I'm angry at my pets for doing normal pet things. I'm angry because I "have" to buy a new car. I'm angry because i have parents who care. I just want to go away to a quiet, serene and private place and figure out what the problem is because this cannot continue. This "mood" has affected my diet, my energy, my work ethic, my relationships, and my general... aura. I'm not a positive person to be around these days so I don't blame people for wanting to stay away. By the same token, I don't want to be around most people! (See above.)

Well a lack of sleep certainly won't help the situation, and since I have to wake up and work out with D tomorrow morning, i'm going to try to pass out. I'd bet a shot of tequila would help.

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