Sweet Misery

Greetings, i write to you from my dear mom's sumptuous king-size bed. I haven't left this bed for much at all in the past 24-hours. Yes, my friends, i am sick once again. Got a cough a few days ago that only seems to be getting worse, despite my attempts at self-medication. I refuse to go to the doctor and am hoping it'll just pass, but my resistance is waning. Thanks to some Nyquil, i slept all night and most of today, waking only to eat and check email. Please please PLEASE let me get better soon. I've got much to do before moving to Austin!!

A Moment Alone

*Deeeeep breath* siiiiiiiiiiiiigh... I love moments alone. We rarely have enough of them these days, don't you agree? Mom, Auntie, and Sister are out shopping at the outlets. Bro's at the movie theater, Uncle's golfing, and Dad's off to work (poor Daddy). I've taken advantage of this house by taking a hot shower, swaddling up in my robe, turning on my new warm steam humidifier, and enjoying the peace and quiet. Not that i don't adore having a full house because i really do; i see how happy my Mom is with her oldest sister, and it makes me sad for the day my Auntie has to leave. C'est la vie... n'est-ce pas?

Lovin' It

What a treat this holiday season in the Park family compound has been! After we got over the money crap, and since my Aunt/Uncle from Canada have gotten here, everyday's been oodles of family fun. Christmas was delightful and i got all kinds of goodies from ma soeur and bro, including a vegan cupcake book, darling dishes begging to be used for afternoon tea, gorgeous leopard print towels from Pottery Barn, darling pink moccasin slippers from LL Bean, and much more. I've been on a reading kick and finished The Other Boleyn Girl last night, only to make a trip to Borders to purchase The Boleyn Inheritance. Read both The Kite Runner and A Thousand Spendid Suns in London and highly recommend both. Am also reading The Why Cafe, which is really helping me get back to the whole "Why am i here? What do i want from life?" conversation, which of course i love. Have been indulging in some creative activity RE: my new apartment and spent the other night making design collages with ma soeur (who actually never finished one..surprise surprise). I have a full book full of magazine cutouts and ideas and have another one on the way. Just found a fabulous coach/daybed from West Elm that both Mommy and Sister have approved of, so going to making that purchase soon. Love love LOVE planning new spaces! I still fully intend on painting a hot pink accent wall in the living room and my bedroom a lovely grecian green. Also adding a "library" to the living room, courtesy of IKEA's darling pink lack bookcases. Even more reason to feed my book-buying addiction!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Have no solid plans for New Year's as of right now, but am perfectly content spending it with my family. Really must get a move on 2008 Resolutions, as it's going to be a big year for me and many of my friends. Graduation, the BAR exam, and starting work... ick. Am i really ready to be an adult?? Also need to start planning my BAR trips... definitely taking Mom somewhere for a week. M and i were also discussing Bali or maybe even Mozambique! Ahh the possibilities are endless...

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!

Hello, my darlings!! Just wanted to do a quick Happy Holidays shout-out, it being Christmas Eve and all. The Park house is FULL of family - me, Mom, Dad, Sister, Bro-in-law, Muffin, Puffin, AND our fave Aunt and Uncle from Canada!! Just waiting on Dad to get home so we can pour the wine and open presents!!! I hope you are all warm, safe, happy, and with your loved ones tonight.

xoxo,
C

Stateside

Yes yes i have finally returned to the U.S. of A, and surprise surprise, i already miss London. I miss the sights, the sounds, the streets, and of course, TopShop. That being said, i don't miss the Institution or the lack of good and cheap food, so i guess the grass is always greener on the other side. My trip home went pretty smoothly, except for a slight delay at my Chicago layover. Luckily my crazy whacked out London sleep schedule has translated into a great, solid sleep schedule here in the States. I've been fast asleep by midnight or earlier and up by 8:30, a vast improvement. I'm currently snuggled up in my beautiful pink bedroom upstairs in my parents' home in good ole Rowlett. Truth be told, it's not all sunshine and butterflies 'round here since i just spent a good 10 minutes crying into my pillow a la high school. Yet ANOTHER conversation about money with my parents. Why oh why? I've already had like 3 and i've only been home for 2 days! Argh. It just makes me wonder... will my parents ever see beyond my faults? Anyway, it'll blow over, and i am overreacting, but it's probably because i've missed my family so much that to get such crap from my mother, father, AND my sister about my money-spending habits after being away for 3+ months is tres annoying. Mom's also not happy about my vegetarian experiment, surprise surprise.

SO i'm really glad to be back in the States, but i really really can't wait till i get to Austin. I wish there were some way i could move in earlier... maybe i'll give Matt @ the Triangle a call tomorrow... Or maybe i'll just crash @ Pony's if i feel that i'm going out of my mind. ;-)

Plans for tonight? I don't know... before my crying fit, Bro and i were planning to hit up Best Buy and Target. Ooh he just came in, so here we go! XOXO, will write later.

<3 C

A Pictorial Journey

Being a tourist is EXHAUSTING! Anyway, I've been going nonstop the past few days - highlights include the National Gallery, Tate Modern, Phantom of the Opera, Shakespeare's Globe, and St. Paul's Cathedral. Oh and, of course, one last trip to my beloved TopShop. Love love LOVE this city!

Sheets of Egyptian Cotton

I can't sleep. Again. Last night i was up until about 6:30 a.m., which of course means i slept until 2 p.m. Luckily my productivity was at an all-time high today, and i somehow managed to finish and print off all my papers before 10. Who am i?? Pretty soon i realized i was tired and when it turns out my latest chick lit turned out to be a HUGE flop (Marianne Keys - The Other Side of the Story, blah! but do check out her other book Is Anybody Out There?), i turned out the lights, and snuggled up with my hot water bottle. Then i woke up at 1:45 to use the loo, couldn't fall back asleep, realized poor M was still downstairs in the computer room so made her a thermos of darjeeling tea, packed some biscuits, and headed down there (tea and biscuits - how British!). Poor darling was in desperate need of tea and biscuits... After realizing her productivity level was at an all-time LOW, i dragged her back upstairs to use my laptop, and then at 4 a.m. we both decided to get some sleep (aka she would sleep for 2, maybe 3 hrs). But here it is 5:13 a.m., and i have yet to fall back into slumber. Gah! Maybe my body is just preparing itself for its return to the States?

Soooo many things lately that i've wanted to blog about, but because i was being a good student, i never did. And of course, i can't remember a damn thing now. But i will say that this next week, aka my last week here in Londy, is going to be a whirlwind of sightseeing fun! I have sooo much to do, including but not limited to...

1. Tate Modern
2. Natural History Museum (LOVE me some dinosaurs!!)
3. Seeing the Nutcracker at the Royal Opera House
4. Afternoon tea (yes, again.....)
5. Portobello Market
6. Evensong @ St. Paul's
7. Westminster Abbey
8. Boutique shopping in Hamstead and Chelsea
9. Phantom of the Opera
10. Outdoor ice skating
11. Une autre visit to Harrods to buy pink Wellies!

Oh and i also have to figure out how on earth i'm going to pack and if i need to ship stuff home (likely) and um, all that jazz.

Have been eating TONS of Indian food lately and can't seem to get enough. There are some truly fabulous hole-in-the-wall vegetarian Indian eats just down the street - yum! There's also a cute little cafe/store called Greens 'n Beans, a DRU yoga creation, that serves a very very petit hot lunch buffet full of delicious, wholesome, and amazing vegetarian/vegan food. Think i might hit that one up tomorrow since M and i did Indian tonight...

Ouch, i think i might be experiencing heartburn. Not that i really know what heartburn is, of course, but this is what i imagine it to feel like. Speaking of hearts, Mom's surgery went really well, and i talked to her today. She said the first thing she said when she woke up was, "I'm hungry!" Hmmm i wonder where i get my appetite from... Can't wait to get home in a week and celebrate the holidays with Mommy, Daddy, Jennifer, Chris, Puffin & Muffin!! It's going to be such a full Park family house, i can hardly stand it! And the Thursday apres Christmas, Mom, Sister and I will be relaxing at the Bliss Spa in the W Hotel. 75-minute massage + "Mistle toes" pedicure = HEAVEN for this pedicure-starved student abroad.

xoxo darlings,
C

The Fantasy of Being Thin

A couple nights ago, in an effort to procrastinate from writing my papers (what else is new?) I stumbled across a very fascinating blog piece. From kateharding.net, "The Fantasy of Being Thin" is her in-your-face, brutally honest version of why you (you being women who constantly diet and say things like, "when i'm thin, i will wear a hot bikini or when i'm thin, i will meet the man of my dreams") should shutup about what a great person you'll be when you're thin and all the wonderful things you'll do and just accept that you can be that person and do those things right now. You know, as "fat." It's an interesting notion because i definitely empathize with the fantasy of being thin. My entire adolescent and adult life, up until about 6 months ago, has been an endless battle with my weight, my size, my fat. And i've made hundreds of those lists. If i were thin, that boy would love me. If i were thin, i would never be depressed. If i were thin, it wouldn't matter that i suck at law school because clearly, i'd be happy because i'd be THIN! And i wouldn't say that i'm 100% over it, because i'm most definitely not, but i no longer spend 90% of my day obsessing over my body and my food. Maybe that's just because i refuse to not eat mass quantities of french fries (as i did yesterday) or maybe i've given up on the notion that i'll ever have the body i want. The point is Ms. Harding is totally right. Life is way too short to start living it when you're thin. Who knows how long it'll be before then?? Anyway, you should definitely take a peek at her website. In the meantime, here's a little taste:

Accepting my fat really wasn’t the hard part. Accepting my personality — and my many limitations that have jack shit to do with my thighs — was. But oddly enough, once I started to do that, my life became about a zillion times more satisfying. I found the right guy, I took up yoga, I started taking my writing more seriously, I stopped apologizing for taking vacations in the U.S. and Canada instead of somewhere more exotic, etc. And lo and behold, things got a lot more fun around here. The thin person inside me finally got out — it just turned out she was actually a fat person. A reasonably attractive, semi-outgoing fat person who has an open mind and an active imagination but also happens to really like routine and familiarity and quiet time alone.

That was never who I expected to be — it was just always who I was.

So giving up dieting and accepting my body didn’t just mean admitting I would never be thin; it meant admitting I would never be a million things I might have been. (Which, I’m told, is a phenomenon sometimes known as “maturity.”) I am absolutely not one for settling — which is where the confusion about pessimism comes in, I think — but I am one for self-awareness and self-forgiveness. Meaning, there’s a big difference between saying you can’t be anything other than what you are right now, and you don’t have to be anything other than what you are right now. You will probably never be permanently thin, unless you are already, but other than that, the sky’s the limit. You can be anything or anyone you want to be, in theory.

The question is, who do you really want to be, and what are you going to do about it? (Okay, two questions.) The Fantasy of Being Thin is a really convenient excuse for not asking yourself those questions sincerely — and that’s exactly why it’s dangerous. It keeps you from being not only who you are, but who you actually could be, if you worked with what you’ve got. And that person trapped inside you really might be cooler than you are right now.

She’s just not thin.

The Fantasy of Being Thin

Just a Petit Break...

100% determined to finish a paper today, but how cute are these kids?? Love them!

2 Down... Too Many More to Go

Taking a little breather (ironic b/c i'm so congested that i can't breathe at ALL) in between papers to blog. Do you know what's the most annoying thing about a cold? Not the fact that i can't breathe, not the achiness, not even the vast quantities of tissue that i go through. Those things i can all handle pretty well without wanting to rip my head off. But what i REALLY can't stand is the POPPING. THE FREAKING POPPING OF THE EARS. It won't stop, and it's driving me CRAZY! And this is a pretty new phenomenon with me, as it's never once happened in the States. Also this whole getting sick apres travel thing is also annoying and promises me a sniffly Christmas. Add to that a really frustrating (in this country?? NEVER!) situation regarding my medication and getting an American prescription refilled in the UK. Basically you can't no matter how many times the pharmacist you talked to on the phone assured you that you could. I wish people would either tell me they don't have a f-ing clue or they'd just SHUTUP b/c giving me false information, particularly when my ears won't stop popping, makes me want to punch somebody. Suffice to say, as much as i can't stand so many things about America and more specifically, AmeriCANS, i do miss the much more prevalent competency, consistency, and efficiency in the land of the free... (i can't believe i just said that)

That's all for now. Toodles!

So this is Christmas...

Can you believe it's December?? I, for one, cannot nor can i believe how quickly this incredible adventure abroad has passed. Although i am terribly homesick for my mother's (free!) cooking, Target, and Central Market, i can't believe i only have a few weeks left as a Londoner. That being said, I am still in Paris and don't want to leave it either. After all, our love has only grown deeper on this visit, and i am reluctant to say goodbye for who knows how long... I haven't even left the house today except in an effort to find food (annoying part of being a visitor and it being Sunday, therefore everything in Paris shuts down). I've been inside attempting, rather unsuccessfully i might add, to work on yet another paper. It's a bit difficult to "work" when there is no proper desk, dim lighting, and the fact that i'm constantly terrified of ruining the furniture. Below is a picture of my set-up... see my pink kitty hot water bottle?! Mmm love it. It keeps me company 24/7 here.

Anyway, i don't leave until tomorrow evening, but seeing as i have to "check out" of the apartment by noon, and i have sooo much more work to do, i might just be camping out somewhere avec luggage and laptop and being "productive." Then again, a quick visit to the Musee d'Orsay sounds immensely appealing too...

Forgive my future lack of blogging, but these next 10 days are going to be intense and unpleasant to say the least, as i have 4 papers (each one being 3000-4000 worse) to write. Then again, you may also want to forgive excessive blogging and rambling and incomprehension as i tend to turn to writing things other than school papers when i am bored, stressed, procrastinating, all of the above. Wish me luck, my darlings!

P.S. I can't stop watching every movie and youtube clip of Monsieur McAvoy that i can get my hands on... i am obsessed to a very dangerous degree. I don't think i've been like this since the days of Carolyn DiCaprio (yes, that's right). I'm determined to find myself a dark hair, blue-eyed, Scottish James McAvoy clone as soon as possible.

P.P.S. Yes i realize that he's not the hottest guy alive, and that he's about 5 feet tall, but honestly he's charming and adorable and incredibly sexy in both Becoming Jane and Atonement, and hey, maybe i'm not all that shallow OK?? And love is blind.

P.P.P.S. And yes, i also realize that he's married, and that according to S, aka cupid reincarnated, i am going to have very bad love karma if i keep falling for married, gay, famous, and otherwise unavailable men...

Pictures!

Here are some fun pics from Paris! Today was INCREDIBLE, as the weather behaved quite nicely. Think sun, blue skies, crisp air, gorgeous fall foliage. Spend the day just walking and walking and walking, getting lost this way and that, eating baguette after baguette, and wanting very much to never leave this city...