MIA

{photo: weheartit}

I've been quite busy.  Work, play, sickness (fighting a nasty sore throat & cough) - it's been nonstop.  My next 6 weeks are even busier.  I'll be traveling to DC, Philly, Vancouver, Calgary, Kamloops and Dallas, and although I'm excited about it all, I'm also aware of how exhausted I'll be (traveling from NYC = pain) by the end of it.  There are so many great things I want to blog about, but I just can't find the time.  I hope you're well... I miss you, the blogosphere and Twitter deeply, but it's definitely on the backburner of life right now, and I fear that's where it will have to stay at least for now.

Ta ta for now.  Gros bisous.

To a Good Week

{source: weheartit}

This weekend felt short, and I find it hard to believe that it's already Monday morning.  Nonetheless, I've already done my hair (ok, I just redid my bangs), made oatmeal (on the stove, y'all!) and sipped my iced coffee (may or may not have just poured myself a second glass).  And now I'm just... stalling.  Still need to do my makeup and get dressed and then begin what is bound to be a tough week at work.  I'm determined to stay positive, and for now, will remind myself of the fun I had this weekend...

Meeting dear friend at my fave wine bar on Friday night to catch up and discuss her upcoming nuptials 

Sleeping in on Saturday

Having some solo moi time on Saturday, spent leisurely running errands and window shopping

Learning our hot water heater is broken and realizing that I can go have a lovely, hot shower at Equinox post-workout

A fun night on the town for my friend Will's birthday (club in meatpacking, table & bottle service, so not my norm, but a fun change of pace nonetheless)

A not-too-hungover brunch at my NYC big sis' apt on Sunday morning afternoon

Buying a "goal skirt" on Sunday (I've never purposely bought an article of clothing knowing it's too small, but I wonder if it might serve as some sort of inspiration - it's a gorgeous skirt - and if it doesn't fit in 29 days, well then, I'll just return it)

Breakfast tacos for dinner

P.S. Thanks for the kind, encouraging words.  I know I'm a bit hard on myself, and I'm working on it.

Fat + Run = Bad

This definitely helps explain why my running has been sucking, and why an easy 6.0 pace feels like DEATH.  Oh because did I mention?  Those 5 lbs I gained in the week before the Half Marathon are still here, meaning they are not due to water retention or PMS or any of that sugar (sugar = sh*t <= my 22 year old roomie gave me that one).  It's just what it is - 5 extra pounds.

Pissed is an understatement.

{source: here}

Inadequacy

Brief but very necessary reminder that this is one of MANY reasons I am awesome possum.  

I am happy. I am very happy right now. Overall, I'm happier than I've been in a very long time.  But still, old feelings, haunts and fears have a sneaky way of surprising me... revisiting with a vengeance. And it sucks. I'm not sure if it was the alcohol, the terrible/not-worth-it/left-me-very-hungry $75 dinner (my one nice dinner out this month), the fact that my manager is leaving or because it's that time of the month, but last Thursday night I had a bit of a breakdown.  For the first time in a very long time, my sister's success left me feeling like a complete and total failure.  I cried.  A lot.  I may or may not have called my Mom crying (and she may or may not have laughed at me - in a very loving way, bien sur).  I may or may not have been a puffy, sleep-deprived mess the next day at work who fought back tears alllll day.  Luckily, I had an awesome weekend with friends that reminded me that life is, in fact, very sweet.  Saturday we went to the Armory Show for some art and culture and ah-mazing people-watching and then to a couple of parties in the evening.  I had FUN.  Some pics from the show, courtesy of my friend David:

 Also?  Fingers crossed that my badass/successful/amazing/inspiring sister gets to come to NYC for work in a couple of weeks.  I miss her!

Have v. v. v. busy/stressful week at work.  2 mah-jor meetings tomorrow, and manager M leaves on Wed.  :( 

Changes

{photo from here}

After my wonderful trip to Austin, I returned to work and got some upsetting and disappointing news.  I learned that my awesome/amazing/inspiring/beautiful/kickass manager ("M") resigned because she got offered an ah-mazing position that she couldn't turn down.  When she told me, I nearly burst into tears (I have a flair for the dramatic, I know), but I just couldn't believe it.  On the one hand, on a very personal level, I will deeply miss her.  In some ways, I think of her as another big sister, someone I look up, aspire to and respect.  On the professional level, I am disappointed.  We made a lot of big plans for the upcoming year, and with M's guidance, I was confident that I would learn a LOT this year and advance my career in the best ways possible. 

Needless to say, I've been sad/worried since last Thursday.  Turns out, professionally this could be a really good thing for me.  With M gone, I will be working with and reporting to one of two Heads of the Department ("H").  H is incredibly intimidating (she didn't crack a smile my entire interview, not until the very end) and quite demanding, but she's also really good at her job.  It will be tough to be without my amazing teacher, but I have the potential to really step up my game and prove to H that I can go above and beyond my title.  And that's exactly what I intend to do.

This week has been nuts, and things are only going to get crazier when M leaves (next week - tear).  Leaving at 5:30, lunchtime gym breaks and leisurely days are out the window.  This is undoubtedly going to be hard on me.  For one, I'm determined to work out 5x per week, and that's going to be tough to do with consistent late nights at the office.  For another, I was looking forward to having some more flexibility/freedom with my schedule now that training is over and to try and actually hang out with my friends on a regular basis again.  When can I squeeze that in?  Gym or dinner/drinks... something's gotta give.  (On top of all that, my work schedule makes getting to WW meetings - aka Tues. Night Happy Hour - impossible, and I think I'm going to switch to online only.  Sigh.)

I chose the picture above because I need to see it.  I haven't been feeling beautiful lately - I've been feeling fat, ugly and repulsive.  I should be proud of my body for what it's just accomplished, but instead I only focus on what it can't do.  I'm hoping that my plans to keep active and eat (mostly) clean will help me feel better all around. 

How do you maintain work-life balance when things are crazy and show no signs of letting up?

How do you remind yourself that you're beautiful (no matter how unbelievably unflattering your race photos are)?

March Goals

HAPPY MARCH!!  I can't believe it's already March - 2011 is flying by!  I, personally, am absolutely delighted that it'll soon be Spring (even though Spring in NYC is still winter with a few random warm days).  J'adore all things bright, flowery, green and happy.  It was only fitting, therefore, that I decorate this month's monthly Metro card as such.

Since I started working, I buy unlimited monthly Metro cards.  The cards don't look any different than normal Metro cards so I decided that I'd decorate it with stickers.  The cards also aren't refillable so unfortunately I get a new card every month (so wasteful - darn you, NYC!).  Instead of focusing on the negative, however, I decided to recycle my cards by saving each month's, and in the end (not sure when the "end" will be - maybe 1 year?) I will make some sort of fun art with them.  Good idea, oui??  I thought so.  ;)  Anyway, without further adieu, voila my March goals:

1. Work out 5x/week
2. Eat clean (with 2 cheat days per week!)
3. Less shopping
4. More reading
5. More writing

What are your goals for the month?