Inadequacy

Brief but very necessary reminder that this is one of MANY reasons I am awesome possum.  

I am happy. I am very happy right now. Overall, I'm happier than I've been in a very long time.  But still, old feelings, haunts and fears have a sneaky way of surprising me... revisiting with a vengeance. And it sucks. I'm not sure if it was the alcohol, the terrible/not-worth-it/left-me-very-hungry $75 dinner (my one nice dinner out this month), the fact that my manager is leaving or because it's that time of the month, but last Thursday night I had a bit of a breakdown.  For the first time in a very long time, my sister's success left me feeling like a complete and total failure.  I cried.  A lot.  I may or may not have called my Mom crying (and she may or may not have laughed at me - in a very loving way, bien sur).  I may or may not have been a puffy, sleep-deprived mess the next day at work who fought back tears alllll day.  Luckily, I had an awesome weekend with friends that reminded me that life is, in fact, very sweet.  Saturday we went to the Armory Show for some art and culture and ah-mazing people-watching and then to a couple of parties in the evening.  I had FUN.  Some pics from the show, courtesy of my friend David:

 Also?  Fingers crossed that my badass/successful/amazing/inspiring sister gets to come to NYC for work in a couple of weeks.  I miss her!

Have v. v. v. busy/stressful week at work.  2 mah-jor meetings tomorrow, and manager M leaves on Wed.  :(