Homesick (or just PMS)

{an old pic of Lola et moi napping on my Mom's bed}

It's been a rough/weird few days. As I was unpacking the two Fed Ex boxes my Mom sent me (thanks, Mom!!!) on Friday afternoon, I found myself suddenly in tears and very much missing home. But what is home? Do I miss Dallas? Uh, NO. Do I miss proximity to my parents? Yes. Do I miss Austin? Sort of... but it's not just the city I'm missing, it's aspects of my former life, the life that I had in Austin. I miss long summer afternoon naps with Lola. I miss having my own kitchen, my own living space, my own home. I miss being able to hop in the car on a fiercely hot day and blast the A/C. I miss being able to walk five steps to get to the nearest pool. I miss making my own iced tea (can't make any here b/c, of course, we don't have a pitcher!). I miss hitting up Sonic (yes, the drive-thru) and getting frosty summer beverages. I miss knowing where to go for the best highlights & haircut, pedicure, facial, and massage. (I miss being able to afford highlights, facials and massages...) And I miss Hobby Lobby! I'm just feeling un peu homesick.

Also? I checked the calendar and sure enough, it's about to be that time of the month. Like clockwork, my hormones are out of whack and I find myself strangely emotional, a little sad, and way out of control with the tears. Also? I am SO sick of this weather. When it's 90+ degrees and HUMID as HELL, there is nothing I enjoy less than having to walk around this damn city. Don't get me wrong, I still love the city, but I abhor this ridiculously steamy summer. I can't wait for Fall.

But then I think back to why I wanted so badly to move here in the first place, and I remember all the things about my former life that I don't miss. I don't miss my former job and waking up every morning and absolutely dreading going into the office. I don't miss the mundane day-to-day of my life in Austin. I don't miss being in TX. I don't miss the lack of diversity, good Korean food and culture. I don't miss staying in instead of going out and socializing b/c I was so bored of what "going out" in Austin meant. I don't miss not feeling the joie de vivre that I've since rediscovered in myself since moving to this vibrant, 24 hrs/day city.

So I guess... things aren't so bad. I just really can't wait for this time of the month to be over. (And for the weather to cool down.)

Filofax - FINALLY!

[NOTE to MOM: I know you're reading this and shaking your head b/c you don't understand WHY your daughter bought more paper stuff, but allow me to explain. I had to get a new planner anyway, and I wanted to try another kind. So really, in the end, it's not like I just bought something unnecessary. Okay? Promise! And if you get mad at these posts, then stop reading!! :D]

Augh what a nightmare it's been trying to get my hands on a filofax. The company from which I ordered the metropol in raspberry (same one was Gala Darling's in this post) failed to let me know that it was backordered, so when I called and found out, I may or may not have thrown a tiny tantrum. I insisted they refund my shipping costs and keep me posted (which, to be fair, they did). Unfortunately a few days later I woke up to an email telling me that the raspberry metropol is backordered until... SEPTEMBER. Would I like to keep my order active and be one of the first to receive it? Um, NO.

Anxiously, I scoured the web for another, but he was correct, they are completely out everywhere! So I decided I'd just bite the bullet and buy the boring (and expensive-r) light pink one. BLAH. I found it for about 20% less on Amazon and placed my order. And waited patiently. And asked the seller whether it had been shipped. And waited patiently. Until finally today, I decided to stop by Sam Flax to return a couple of things (okay, yes, they were filofax things...), and lo and behold, what do I find? A RASPBERRY METROPOL!!! I almost DIED in the store, immediately texted my friend Steph (who, unfortunately, has gotten a play-by-play of my whole filofax drama), and purchased it immediately. Now I have to deal with either canceling or returning my other one (who knows where it is!), but that is OK. Because in the end, I saved about $50, and I am MUCH happier with the non-leather raspberry pink version!

So I've been playing with it all afternoon, and I think it'll take a bit to see how I'm going to use it. It IS fun how customizable it is...

{that little heart sticker is a Fancy Nancy one and it says "I'm a tres, tres fancy girl." LOVE.}

{voila an instax pic of moi and my dear friend David on my 1st night in NYC. isn't he gorgeous?? love him!}

It still has a long way to go, but I already adore it! Yay for finding it so magically today!! I needed something amazing to happen after I unwillingly paid a whopping FORTY DOLLARS for lunch (believe moi, it wasn't my idea...) and proceeded to cry (not really) on the phone to my Mom afterwards. She laughed.

P.S. I'm going to do a follow-up post a couple weeks from now once I figure out the best way to use my filofax. I'm so excited! I'm such a DORK!! I get so excited about paper and organization and STICKERS!!!

P.P.S. The other night I dictated to my Mom on the phone which of my paper/creativity products to send me. As in, "Open the white box that's labeled 'pretty tape' and send me x, y, and z. Open the white box that's labeled 'STICKERS' and send me as much as you can fit!" Twas fun. My Mom thinks I have way too many stickers. She may be right...

Vegan Tomato

{my grocery basket from the other night: organic strawberries, organic avocados, organic kale, frozen mango, almond milk, amy's frozen nondairy bean & rice burritos}

I've been putting off writing this post for quite some time. Partly because I'm afraid of what you will think, partly because it's a subject that's difficult for me to think about, partly because I'm not even sure what I want to say. But it needs to be put out there because I need some help! So here it is...

Since moving to New York, I have fallen off the vegan bandwagon big time. At first it was because I was going to all sorts of dinners and brunches with new people, and I did not want to limit our choices to vegan eateries nor did I want to be difficult. Now, I know what many vegans will say - just because you want to eat vegan doesn't mean you're being difficult. That may be true, but it is inconvenient for the majority of people (esp. the people that I seem to know), and I didn't want to be causing any of that either. The other reason? I like nonvegan food. I like cheese and eggs and butter... I do. Also? It's really hard to even find a vegetarian option on many NYC menus, so yes, I've eaten shrimp and calamari. (But no, I have not, however, eaten chicken, beef, pork, lamb, etc.)

I am not proud of this. I feel like a complete and total failure of a vegan, and yet every time I say, "OK! This is it! Tomorrow I'm being vegan again!" it's never the last time. Scarily, that's the same thing I used to say when I tried fad diet after fad diet... that's not a good thing.

Do I still strongly believe all the things I believed before? Oui. Am I a hypocrite? Weak? A failure? LAME? Oui. I'll own up to all of that. I will be the first to say that I let my desire for goat cheese get in the way of how I feel about animal treatment. I let my overwhelming lust for margherita pizza cloud my absolute knowledge that dairy cows are treated like absolute shit. Like I said, I'm not proud of this.

That being said (you know that was coming, didn't ya?), I know that in the near future, there will be situations where it will be near impossible for me to eat vegan. Or, let's be honest, I'll be at a fab restaurant with friends, and I don't WANT to ask the chef to prepare me something on the side or I don't want to be resigned to eating a garden salad. I want to enjoy life! And it's not that I couldn't when I was strictly vegan, but dining out became a completely different experience. If I could have all vegan friends, I would, but to be honest, I don't have a single real-life vegetarian, let alone vegan, friend in my life.

So, I don't know... I don't know what I'm going to do. I know it doesn't have to be one extreme or another, but I am a very all-or-nothing type of person so this weird wishy washy medium is difficult for moi. Also, I have no doubt whatsoever that I will lose some blog readers and twitter followers who began to read/follow when I was doing the vegan thing, and that's fine, I understand that. I also know that many of you (including those who follow a vegan diet) will be supportive and tell me not to beat myself up. I am genuinely curious as to what you think, whether you have or are experiencing the same conflicting emotions, and what is to be done about it. I feel... like a fraud.

4th in the City

What began as a day where absolutely nothing went as planned (no She & Him concert @ Governor's Island b/c the line to get on the ferry was 50,000 people long, no Toy Story 3 b/c they sold out as soon as we got to the front of the line, and LOADS of walking around the city in 98-degree weather), my first 4th of July in the city ended up being one of the most fantastic days I've had since moving here. Despite all the minor mishaps, I still had a beautiful day full of...

~ quality time w/ my friend Steph, sipping frozen limoncello drinks on a shaded patio of a darling trattoria in Tribeca

~ showing some Texas pride at the Texas on Tour event at South Street Seaport

~ a fantastic (and rather romantic!) viewing of the Macy's fireworks in a dark vacant apartment w/ dear amies

~ dancing and singing to the video belowwith my boyz (it's so funny, but it's also a REALLY good and catchy remix!)



~ ending the night with a major dance party at a nearby bar to Empire State of Mind (and Party in the USA, Can't Be Tamed, Alejandro, California Gurls...)

I couldn't imagine a better way to spend and end my 4th. I hope yours was just as magical and spent with loved ones! I'm so lucky to have the friends here that I do. *mwah*

Bonjour, July!

{image: flickr}

Happy 4th of July weekend, my lovelies!! I can't believe June is over and that I actually blogged daily (more or less) about my NYC adventures (and mishaps). I welcome July and the lack of pressure to blog daily with very open arms. That being said, I love getting back into the swing of regular blogging, so I assure you that there will be lots of posts from me in the upcoming month as well.

What're you up to this 4th of July weekend? Moi, there will be plenty of wine drinking, courtyard gatherings with new friends, possible beach time, and fancy NYC fireworks. I can't WAIT! And in the spirit of this celebratory month, I've decided it's high time that I get back on the monthly goals bandwagon. Without further adieu, voila my July goals.

~ Gym 3x/wk: Can you believe? I joined a gym today! I'm tres excited about it, too! It's got fantastic classes, is uber close to my apartment, and every single treadmill and elliptical has a TV attached. Heaven.

~ Yoga 1x/wk: Oh how I've missed yoga. There are so many fabulous studios in this city and a handful of them are either free or donation-based. Holla!

~ Stay positive about job search: It's easy to get down and have days like this. What I have to remember is that I moved here for a reason, and I know there is the perfect NON-legal job waiting for me in this vivacious city. Just gotta find it!

~ Schedule/attend 1 networking event/appointment per week: Although I've met with loads of contacts already, I need to stay on the ball. Networking is key to finding a job in this city. It's all about who you know!

~ Track spending: Now that my big expenditures have been taken care of, it's time to get very serious about being very frugal. I plan to track my spending this month to the DIME and to make sure I stay within my budget. (Mom - I know you're happy to see this.)

~ Return 2 journaling: My journaling, like my yoga practice, has completely fallen by the wayside. Now that I have a desk (are you sick of me saying that yet?), I have no excuse.

~ Explore 1 NYC neighborhood: Because I live in Chelsea and have everything I could possibly want within a 10-15 block radius, it's easy to get comfortable here. But I adore NYC and its different neighborhoods, so I intend to explore one in detail this month. I'm thinking West Village, as it's a complete maze, and I'm determined to find my way around it!

~ Limit ordering in: As I've said before, ordering in here is as easy as checking your gmail. It's beautiful. But it's expensive, fattening, and honestly, a little too much sometimes. I miss simple, healthy, and veggie-ful homecooked meals.

~ Daily smoothies: I got my blender, and I've been smoothie-ing it up!

~ Visit churches: One of my Anti-New Year's Resolutions was to add more spirituality in my life. Part of that means finding a good church here in the city. Luckily a few of my friends here are regular church go-ers, so I intend to tag along until I find one that feels like home.

Day 30... Team Threesome

Life with a desk is just as sweet as I imagined it would be. Although, ironically, I woke up with an annoying lower back ache this morning. I'm hoping it's from the way I slept and not the way I sit in my pretty new chair.

My productivity has definitely been upped by the desk, but sadly my beloved Filofax is still not on its way. I called the shipper today and apparently, it's backordered. They just failed to mention that to me... of course. I kindly requested (aka demanded) that they either expedite the shipping once it's back in stock or refund my shipping costs (scored the latter), and I also asked WHEN they would be expecting more. Maybe tomorrow... maybe next week. UGH. I want it NOW! That Gala Darling is quite something. Her post caused every online filofax retailer to sell out of the beautiful (and beautifully priced) raspberry Metropol! Oh to have that kind of influence... So it's likely I won't have it for at least another week, which means I'll be forced to just continue daydreaming about the gorgeous organizing I will do upon its arrival. Oui, c'est ma vie.

Tonight I went to one of the most gorgeous movie theaters ever (the AMC at Lincoln Center) to see Eclipse with a couple of friends. The theater was RIDIC - it has mezzanine level seating! Upon securing our badass second row seats, I exclaimed, "WOW! It's like I'm at a musical!!" at which point the entire front row of the mezzanine turned around, gaped, and laughed (at me, not with me). Yep, that's how I roll!


As for le flick, it was entertaining and definitely the best made of the 3. Yes, it's still cheesy as heck and the acting is pretty awful at times, BUT Edward was hot in it and so was Jacob, and let's be honest, that's really what these movies are about. Yes I am both Team Edward and Team Jacob. Yum. I couldn't be more jealous of Bella. Having 2 incredibly hot super powered men (ahem, boys) fight over me? Yes, please!

Oh and even if you're not a Twi-hard, I highly suggest you check out the soundtrack. It's filled with fantastico tracks from Florence and the Machine, Beck, Bat for Lashes, Sia, Muse, Vampire Weekend, and much much more. Enjoy!

Psst - Can you believe it's already July??

Day 29... Space

I am an IKEA assembling master. Well, not really, but today's assemblage went far faster and better than I anticipated. The desk is... huge. I mean, it fits, but it's definitely quite large. That being said, I sort of love having all the surface area. This desk can truly be vanity/desk/crafting table/nightstand/whatever. And once I get some more of my goodies (read: paper products and crafts) delivered to moi from my Mom, I'll have more space to put it! What do you think?


Too big? Ridiculous to squeeze such a large desk into a tiny NYC apartment? Meh... what is space anyway? i can get to my closet and still have plenty of dancing room between the desk and the front door. ;) I'm going to try it out for a bit and then decide.

Um and speaking of design, I am IN LOVE with this pink apartment. Look at this pink floor and fridge!!!

I'm so glad I decided to paint my walls pink, line my closet with pink flocked wallpaper, and keep pink a main color in my room. I LOVE PINK! It makes moi so happy. :D