Current Obsesions

I get obsessed with stuff. That's just the way I am. I've tried to fight it, but there's no use - that's my personality, and I'm just going to roll with it. Voila a list of my current obsessions:

Criminal Minds

I've only recently begun watching this show per recommendation of Ma Soeur. Now, I can't get enough and scour the channels to find episodes to DVR. I'm so ridiculously invested in these characters too... it's un peu unhealthy. But I love it.

Military Green

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Quite possibly, my favorite neutral. It's taken over my closet this summer and will be making several repeat performances this fall.

PB & Honey

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A perfect combination of salty and sweet. I put it on any type of bread (waffle, english muffin, multigrain) and in my green smoothies.

iPhone 4

I finally understand why everyone is so obsessed with this technological wonder - because it's amazing.  I was sans internet at home for 2.5 days and would've gone nuts had I not had my trusty iPhone 4.  Sad?  Maybe.  I never thought I was such an internet junkie, but apparently I am.  I also love the case I got (this one).

Your current obsessions?  Let me know!

Twenty-Seven

{image credit: flickr}

Oh my gawd, I am soon to be no longer in my "mid-twenties" but in my "late twenties," and well, quite frankly, that freaks me out. I've never been shy about aging, but this year, this birthday, things are different. For one, I'm starting over. A few months ago, I quit my job and my career as a lawyer and moved from my beloved Austin to this exciting/scary/ridiculously-expensive city to embark on a completely new life. What that life is I haven't quite yet figured out (adding to the "scary" factor), but I do know that it's different.

For another, I'm sick. After a morning of alternating shivers and fever-breaking sweats, I finally got out of bed around 1:30 p.m. because I "needed" to get out of the flat and find myself a birthday ensemble. Simply unable to bear the subway, I hopped into a cab and headed down to Broadway & Broome, to my beloved TopShop. After perusing each level of the store multiple times and quickly realizing that getting out of bed was not the best idea, I left and made my way up Broadway. After stopping briefly in Dean & Deluca to get some "freshly squeezed orange and mango juice" (that cost a mini fortune btw... that place is daylight robbery), I decided to pop into Forever 21 before calling it a day. Fluorescent lights, loud music, and annoying teenagers are not my idea of fun, but within minutes I found the perfect bday top: a super sequinned affair reminiscent of Studio 54 disco days that will go perfectly with my planned Sienna Miller "Alfie" hair (dear friend Ryan is giving me a blow-out!).

As for the birthday festivities, I've planned a downtown dinner at Otto (Mario Batali's inexpensive eatery) with 10 dear friends, old and new. Despite my decidedly enthusiastic attitude towards turning 27, I am nonetheless looking forward to an evening of good food and fun friends. My friend David will be playing photographer, which guarantees some fun photos will be posted on le blog very, very soon.

How do you handle birthdays and getting older? Do you openly embrace it or begrudgingly accept it? Or do you do what many women do and not age at all?

Mini Vacay

{image: jasonchristopher.com}

I know what you're thinking... what kind of vacay could I possibly need? I've been been gallivanting around New York City for the past month and a half! Nonetheless, it's nice to get away from the day-to-day and take a petite trip. So I've decided to hop on a train and spend some quality time with moi (and okay, yes, maybe see some friends along the way!). I plan to do oodles of journaling, planning (I am LOVING the filofax), reflecting, reading and work on some upcoming blog posts. I've dedicated a section of my filo to "blog posts." Voila a sneak peek at what's to come:

*filofax follow-up

*room tour (it's not perfect, but it's SO cute!)

*manifestation

*birthday reflection post (it's coming up in less than a month!)

Have a fantabulous weekend, mes amies!! I'll be thinking of you.

Mental Monday

{Image from here}

Bonjour, mes amies! I'm doing things a little bit differently this Monday. Instead of my Happy Monday list, I am instead writing about something near and dear to my heart: mental health. Just this morning on NPR, I listened to story about a Stanford theater group that just put on a"show" about just that.

Here's an exerpt from the NPR article:

"Some are first hit with the illness in college. Stanford University senior Amanda Gelender found herself battling a deep depression for the first time her freshman year. After weeks of going it alone, exhausted and "crying under the covers for hours" in the dorm, she says, she finally called her doctor. She was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder and found significant relief, she says, with the right medication and other support that enabled her to stay on campus and even keep up her near 4.0 grade average.

Still, for years, she never told friends, professors or dorm-mates of her diagnosis or ongoing struggle. "I felt like the most isolated person in the world," she says of that time. "I didn't feel like anybody would understand what I was going through."

Last January, Gelender broke her silence. She's the co-founder of a student theater group called Stanford Theatre Activist Mobilization Project (STAMP), and for a project last winter, STAMP solicited anonymous true-life letters from classmates living with depression, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder and other mental health problems. In January, Gelender and the group dramatized the accounts as monologues in their theater production, Out of Sight, Out of Mind."

Interesting concept... Although the monologues I heard this morning were overacted and borderlinecheesy, the message is very, very real. Mental health is a big deal! But it still has a negative stigma associated with it, which prevents people from seeking help. Tres unfortunate.

Although I'm not shouting it from the rooftops, I've never tried to hide my history with depression. I admit that the idea of it can still make me uncomfortable, especially since most people that meet me assume I'm a particularly bubbly and happy girl. But recently I've been overcome with a wave of fatigue and exhaustion that I haven't felt in a long time. And despite my best intentions to ignore it, fear crept into my mind and took over and thus began the downward spiral. What if I'm depressed again? What will I do? I can't DROP OUT of my job!! Omg omg OMG. (You know the drill...) It doesn't help that I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed at work these days and desperately feel the need to hibernate.

Do I think I'm depressed again? No. I think my body is telling me that I'm tired, and that I need more sleep and rest. And that it's okay to spend a couple days in bed on the weekend if that's what I need. (Also? It's OK to be behind on blogs and online book clubs and all that jazz. Fun stuff like that should never become a burden.) Do I think I need to keep an eye on things? Oui, bien sur. I never want to go back to that dark place, but I also don't want to live in fear of it either. I just have to pay attention to my mind and my body. They will tell me when I need to take it easy. I have to trust them. And should I ever find myself in that place again, I'll be ready for it. After all, I have a pretty incredible team on my side. ;)

Mental health is not an easy topic, and the word "depressed" has become so commonplace that it's easily ignored. But if you really, truly feel like you may be suffering from it or another ailment, I highly suggest that you seek some help. Most insurance policies cover it, and if not, many places offer a sliding scale type payment where they will work with you and what you can afford. And, as always, I'm here for anyone who has questions, needs to vent, or simply needs a friend. Please feel free to email me at carolyn.park@gmail.com.

Have a WONDERFUL Monday, my darlings!!

The Joy Diet: TRUTH

Ouch! The truth sure does hurt. I was a bit anxious about last week's menu item, but wow did it come at a perfect time. I've been bombarded with oodles of truths in the past couple of weeks that have been difficult, hard to swallow but also liberating. The truth really does set you free, n'est ce pas? I wish I could discuss more here, but it's such a private issue. Let's just say that this exercise has been tres, tres good for moi. How did yours go?

Bonjour, October!

Can you believe it's already October? I've said it before, and i'll say it again - 2009 is FLYING by at an almost terrifying speed. My one-year anniversary with the firm is in a few days - crazy!!

I love October for a number of reasons (the start of Fall, <100tres long time. As a kid, I adored Halloween. I mean dressing up in fun costumes and eating obscene amounts of candy? What's not to love?? But Halloween becomes something else entirely once you're of the post-trick or treating but pre-baby age. In short, it becomes Slut Fest 2000 whatever, as evidenced by the majorly ho-ed out girls at college campuses across the nation (or at least at UT). I admit, I'm guilty of it, too. My costume first year of law school was appalling (i went as a pussycat doll, as in the pre-singing group stage dancer. think corset, tiny bottoms, fishnets and TONS of makeup.).

Somewhere in late 2007, much to my mother's relief, I wised up and realized that slutty dressing for any occasion was a bad idea. (Seriously, I can't believe some of the stuff I wore to go bar-hopping... ew.) So now Halloween is just Halloween. I typically gorge myself with mini Snickers and candy corn and do something lame like stay in. Last year I dressed Lola up in a pumpkin t-shirt (sooo cute), and that was the extent of my Halloween festivities. This year I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I promise you this, I will not be walking the streets of downtown Austin. It's downright scary the things you can see...

Anyway, all that to say that it's October, and I'm not really into Halloween, BUT I am into goal-setting! My September wasn't that great on the goals front so i'm hoping to vamp up October. Let's revisit them, shall we?

September Goals:

~ Improve/reduce dining out spending - Yeah, not so much. I mean they didn't get worse, but they didn't get much better either.

~ Love my body as it is RIGHT NOW, not 5 years ago or sans 30 lbs, etc. Semi-success! Admittedly there were some low moments in front of the mirror, but I overcame them with a different attitude than before. This is a work-in-progress, my friends.

~ Finish book club books before book clubs meet (The Lovely Bones and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society). Yes! I loved TGLPPS (way too long of a name). I didn't read The Lovely Bones, but I've read it before so whatevs.

~ Create and stick to my Balancing Rules, aka the rules I have implemented in order to maintain balance in my life. As a dear friend said, I. Come. First. YES! And when work overwhelmed me, I canceled any and every obligation to ensure I could meet my deadline and maintain my sanity. Best. idea. ever.

~ Work on my morning ritual. Uh huh yeah absolute FAIL.

~ And most importantly, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! Definite improvement, but another work-in-progress.

Okay I guess I didn't do too badly. But moving on...

October Goals

1. Stop swearing - i've been swearing like a sailor these days, and it's awful! I think it's so unclassy and crude, but for some reason the words keep popping out of my mouth, even in passing. Must stop.

2. Re-implement 11 p.m. lights out rule. I've been staying up soo late the past couple weeks! I blame the TV, which leads to me to my next goal...

3. Stop mindless channel surfing. The curse of free cable is that i'm so terrified it'll go away that i keep it on ALL the time. This inevitably leads to a late bedtime and a drastic decrease in productivity. From now on, i will watch my fave shows and that's IT!

4. Find balance. I'm struggling a great deal with finding balance. I let myself get so overwhelmed and stressed by certain work projects that the rest of my life suffers. A lot. Must remember that i have control and can maintain my sanity by finding balance amidst the chaos.

5. Work. Out. I've been majorly slacking in this area, and it should be a priority. I went to yoga for the first time in awhile on Monday, and i've never felt better (despite my soreness - ouch). My running class starts Oct. 12 and meets every Monday night and Saturday morning. I know me, and I know I'll want to skip so I'm making it a goal of mine to stick with it!

6. And last, but certainly not least, focus on MOI. I mentioned before that I'm working on being obsessed with myself. I'm not sure how else to describe this phenomenon except to say that i have a history of becoming infatuated with others (from celebrities to fellow bloggers to yes, Rachel Zoe). I realize that my obsessions tend to breed when something in my life isn't going so well. In other words, I become obsessed with their lives in order to escape mine. Most of the time the obsessions are harmless and fun, BUT I no longer want to escape my life. I want to live it, enjoy it, revel in it! Me and my life? We're pretty fabulous, too.

So tell me, dear friends. What are your October goals?

Award Season!

It's that time again - award season!! Too bad I don't have RZ to find moi the perfect gown... Ok i promise, no more RZ talk until next Monday. ;-)

I've been awarded 2 fun awards by 2 fabulous ladies, and i thought i'd better do this post before the craziness of ACL weekend begins.

First, the Seu blog e magic (your blog is magic) from Jules. What a cute award, no?? I am dying for that little mushroom house - reminds me of old school Nintendo! Merci, Jules. There are no rules as to how many people to pass it to, SO I thought I'd award a new blogger who I am just LOVING. She's been a twitter friend for awhile now, and her words always make moi smile.

Congrats to Kaileen Elise!! Your blog truly IS magic, darling. xoxoxo

Second, the Kreativ blogger award that I received from the gorgeous Crystal (or as I like to call her, Tay Tay). This award does require that I post requisite seven things about myself. The problem with these awards is that y'all already know SO much about me! So I'll try to be "kreativ" here, but forgive moi if you're already bored.



1. I sort of hate Starbucks (for various reasons, some valid, some ridiculous), BUT I still go there because it's: (1) in my building (and everywhere else) and (2) i like to get a grande misto, half soy, half nonfat.


2. I find that most people prefer either tea or coffee, but rarely both. I, on the other hand, ADORE both, but I probably drink coffee on a more regular basis (aka every morning). However, as the weather cools I find myself craving steamy mugs of tea in the afternoon and evening. My fave? La duree melange loose tea + touch of cream. Heaven!


3. I'm on my third Blackberry in less than a year. The first one I dropped whilst running to the car post-ballet (b/c it was FREEZING outside). The second was stolen right before my very eyes (practically). And the third is happily sitting on my desk, begging for some pink bejeweling...


4. I rarely write in black ink, even at work. I much prefer sparkly pinks, purples, blues and greens. (Yes, even at work...)


5. I don't drink diet drinks, and if I do crave soda, I opt for a Mexican coke or Dublin Dr. Pepper. Both are insanely delicious.


6. I don't eat meat either. However, I would probably eat it if I were in Europe (their meat standards are much higher than ours) or if I were eating it at Ma Soeur's (b/c she actually buys a cow off a local farm that she's visited). Then again the killing of animals, as you know, kind of freaks me out in general so who knows...


7. I have free cable (i know, you know), and my fave shows to watch are: Friends, Law & Order CI and SVU, The Rachel Zoe Project, Barefoot Contessa (altho I have yet to actually catch an episode -argh), CSI, Gossip Girl, The City, and Project Runway (altho i'm way behind on this one).



There you go! Oh and I'm passing this award to the following seven bloggers whom I love and adore and cannot get enough of:


1. Kylie Grethen of the ooh la la lifestyle


2. Celia of life according to celia


3. Rachel of and if it's a hero that you want...


4. Stephanie of Bonjour Madame


5. Analise Marie of Tulips and Tea


6. Michele of You and Me and Lucy


7. Lexi of ellecubed

Playing Catch-Up

Bonjour, mes amies! This is going to be a scattered and likely nonsensical (is that a word?) post, but I feel the need to write it. Mostly because I need a break from my project, and I'm pretty confident that I'll make my Tuesday deadline (got pushed back - woot).

Le Weekend - So my weekend was... uneventful. My life consisted of the picture below, although sometimes I shook things up and moved everything into the living room. For the record, the black laptop is my work comp., and I was using my mac to watch, um, episodes of The Rachel Zoe Project... which leads me to my next topic.




RZ - I love Rachel Zoe. Admittedly I didn't know much about her before her reality show except that she was super thin and had some falling out with Nicole Richie. I also knew that the "boho-glam" style for which she became famous was right up my alley. I think the show has humanized her a bit, and people are surprised that she's not the anorexic uber-b*tch she was rumored to be. That being said, I'm sure there are oodles of you who think her show is a joke and can't stand her. I get that. But if you hear me gasp, "I. DIE." or "omg her hair is BANANAS," then please don't shoot me. I can't help myself!

Fall Fashion - While we're on the topic of clothes (and shoes and bangles and handbags and all that good stuff!!), a petite word on fall fashion. Fall is undoubtedly the BEST season for fashion, as evidenced by NY Fashion Week and the ridiculously thick September issues of Vogue, Harper's Bazaar and Elle. (Btw you should definitely see The September Issue. LOVES.) There is nothing I adore more than boots and scarves and darling coats and crazy-colored tights. Normally I go nuts as soon as the fall clothes hit the stores (which is now), which is STUPID considering it's still 90 degrees in TX (shoot me in the face, y'all). This year I told myself I could NOT go crazy for obvious reasons. First, I'm on a budget. And second, what is the point of buying items I can't wear for at LEAST another 2 months? It's been... hard. The key for moi is to avoid temptation as much as possible, so I have stayed away from GILT sales, all my fave Austin boutiques, and even Tarjay as much as possible. Le sad.

Another thing I've done is to create a "Fall Wish List" of items that I think are investment pieces and that I actually "need." (I use that term loosely b/c let's be honest, none of NEEDS anything.) Anyway here's a peek at my Fall Fashion Wish List:

1. Black riding-style boots (loving the Frye Paige boots - hear they are good for muscular calves, which i def. have)

2. Classic trench (I haven't had one in years, and let's face it, it's a must-have.)

3. Sequined jacket (this is probably a little less need-y than the others, but it just adds a certain je ne said quo to a basic jeans and t-shirt outfit. j'adore!)

4. Nude ballerina flats (they go with everything, are tres helpful to have at work, and are not terribly trendy. i love the Tory Burch Reva.)

So the thing is, I can't buy any of these items for myself. I'm going to ask for some as Christmas gifts and just hope that others magically appear on my doorstep! ;-)


Things that make me happy today - I love the concept of happy lists. They're just so cheery, n'est ce pas? Here's a petit list of what's making moi happy today...

- big Texas hair (oh yeah... I have it)

- these gorgeous stackable stella & dot rings i got in the mail today, courtesy of Ma Soeur

- the forecast for this week: thunderstorms and lows in the 60's. Unheard of!

- iced coffee & breakfast tacos

- TV tonight! Gossip Girl & The Rachel Zoe Project = my top 2 faves!!

- FREE CABLE (please don't hit me)

- my skin. i am BLESSED with good skin, courtesy of Momma Park, and i often take it for granted. i am so lucky that i can leave the house sans foundation/powder/concealer and look just fine. when i'm hating on my face, belly, legs, arms, aka EVERYTHING else, i try to remind myself of how lucky i am to have pretty skin.

That's all for now, my loves. Must get back 2 work!!

Bienvenue: The Joy Diet!

Dear friends, I am SO excited to join all of you on this journey through The Joy Diet, the next selection for Jamie Ridler's online book club: The Next Chapter. I missed out on the Wreck This Journal fun (and honestly, it looked REALLY hard!), but am eager to get started on this new journey.

The first chapter is about Nothing, and the exercise is to "do nothing" for at least 15 minutes a day. I've seen other bloggers discuss how hard this will be to do. At first I thought, wow that's easy! I'll just curl up under the duvet and do nothing for 15 minutes to... 3 hours? Haha, unfortunately I don't think naps count. Still I can lay in bed doing Nothing (no, not even sleeping), and I think it will be divine. :)

You should watch Jamie's video. She introduces the concept of "vision cards" in which she creates mini-collages on big index cards. Um, GENIUS!! I love the idea and can't wait to get started (okay, how many times have I said that in this post??).

Obsession

I'm totally bleary-eyed and my right hand is cramping like crazy. But I'm working my butt off and confident about making my deadline, and that is what matters.

Just wanted to pop by and say hi and that I love and miss you guys. I also wanted to let you in on a little something I've been working on - being obsessed with - wait for it - ME.

I love obsessions, and I have oodles of them. But I've never been obsessed with moi. It's really fun. I highly recommend it. ;-)

5 Days

Ok, Canada part deux is going to have to wait 5 days, at least. Because for the next five days, I will be doing this, except (1) not on a beach, (2) not in that bikini body and (3) not smiling. Although if #1 and #2 were present, perhaps I wouldn't be so grumpy?



In all seriousness, I have a Monday deadline that I thought would be doable and is proving to be... not. Like... something around 60 hours of work to do before then? Oui. Oh and that's on top of the projects I already have going on at work. Needless to say, I have canceled LIFE and all the obligations that come with it for the next 5 days (which, sadly, included a lot of fun stuff) in order to fully devote myself to making this deadline AND getting sleep (tres important for moi).


Luckily, I can do the work from the comfort of my home, which is the beauty of the internet. Now that i have free (yes FREE) cable (are u sick of me talking about it yet??), I envision a weekend of moi on the couch in my PJ's, avec laptop, Lola, coffee (homemade b/c i can't spend any money this week... yeah more on that later), and in front of the telly.


5 days and counting...



P.S. I am actually tres grateful for this work, as you know I've been terribly slow this summer, and although un peu life-disrupting, it's SO nice to be busy!

P.P.S. OBVI i will still be all over Twitter. In fact, I'll prob be overly tweetastic in an effort to distract myself. Apologies in advance!

23 ?'s

I know I've been a terrible blogger. I PROMISE to do a Vancouver post (complete avec pictures!) this weekend when I have more time. :)

In the meantime, I stumbled across this meme on Pink Heels, and after dying of laughter (read her answer to #8!), decided it would be a fun post. Et voila!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.

"...Board of Health to advise state governments and to regulate quarantines." (um yeah, it's a "Land Use Planning and Control Law" hornbook)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch _____.

baby pink sharpie

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Secret Diary of a Call Girl (a la Netflix)

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?

3:15 p.m.?

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

3:17 p.m. (damn! was hoping it'd magically be 5:30 p.m.)

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My ipod playing Death Cab for Cutie, my office fan, and some attorney talking and walking down the hall.

7. When did you last step outside?

During my lunch break when I went to Whole Foods and Anthropologie to buy a birthday gift.

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?

This amaaazing collection of Domino mag pics.

9. What are you wearing?

Does this question sound dirty to anyone else but moi? Anyway, I'm wearing a white & silver striped skirt, a fuschia ruffly tank, and a grey cardigan. Sounds weird, but it works, I promise.

10. When did you last laugh?

About 10 minutes ago when Ma Soeur called and begged me to move in with her.

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

A vintage map of France I found at a Paris flea market and a giant bulletin board with a bunch of magazine images that serves as my inspiration board at work.

12. Seen anything weird lately?

Yes, rain! It's been rare in Austin this summer.

13. What do you think of this quiz?

It's fun!

14. What is the last film you saw?

In the theatre - Julie & Julia. On TV - I think it was HSM3... don't judge.

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what’s the first thing you would do?

Pay my parents' mortgage and make them sell their store so they could RETIRE!

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!

God, is there anything about moi y'all don't know? Hmm... Oh here's something. I fell off my detox diet about 10 hours in. With what? Korean ramen!

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

End poverty.

18. Do you like to Dance?

HECK YEAH!! The Park ladies know how to grooooove. ;-)

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Either Chloe or Isabelle

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

I'm not having a boy.

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Bien sur! I miss living in London actually and would love to try Paris. ;-)

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

Can I get you something to eat?

23. What time is it now?

3:26 p.m. And I'm off to get a hot chai avec a coworker! Au revoir!

Abundance

As I opened my journal tonight to write my gratitude list (yeah SWIM goals!), one of the things on my list was abundance. Abundance of food is what I initially wrote, but then I started thinking about how much we have of everything. We are a society of too much, although that is quickly changing thanks to the recession. I have always been someone with waaaayyy too much stuff. My happiness used to be measured in how many shopping bags I carried through the mall (see photo above from Clueless), and although I'm glad those days are behind me, I can't help but think that "too muchness" has since transferred to my love of paper products, apartment decor, and even books.

At the beginning of this year, I claimed "Simplicity" as my theme for the year. As Fall nears and students pack up their bags and head back 2 school, I find myself remembering that theme and spending some time with it. Abundance is a blessing, but too much can get complicated and weigh you down. I want to free myself of too much and learn how to live with less. In short, I want a simpler life.

Remind me of that next time I "ooh" and "aah" over a must-have, okay?? ;-)

Ideal Job Description

Last week, Jennifer asked me to write my "ideal job description." After telling her that would be near impossible (I have no idea!), she told me to write a completely ridiculous fun one. Oh well... that was easy. :)

"Seeking an energetic, creative and passionate individual who wants variety everyday! This job involves personal blogging, developing relationships with other fabulous women, finding and playing with beautiful paper/stationary/journals/stickers/crafts/books/etc, and oodles of other exciting activities! Dress how you please (the funkier and funner, the better!), tease your crazily highlighted hair, paint your nails any and every color you can imagine, and never EVER be boring. Within this position, you have the ability to work from home or from a fabulous studio that you can design in any way you wish! Listen to music, dance, sing, practice yoga, take a nap, indulge in a massage, and do whatever you can to get your creative and happy juices flowing!! Position also includes attending wonderful women/creativity/yoga retreats ALL around the globe, all expenses paid (of course). This job pays you to become the best possible you. :)

Tell me, what would your ideal job description be??

{Photo credit: flickr pink sherbert}

Bonjour, September!

How sad is it that this under 100 degree weather we've been having in Texas makes me think Fall is actually getting nearer? Ha. The fact that I don't go outside and immediately break out into a sweat is a miracle. Vancouver's 60-degree highs for this weekend will be a HUGE shock to my system, that's for sure.

On another note, can you believe it's September?? I've said it before and I'll say it again, 2009 is FLYING by. Soooo I guess it's time to see how I did on my August goals, oui?

AUGUST GOALS:

*Stick to cash-only envelope system - YES! This is, by far, my greatest success. I've been sticking to my budget, and it's amazing. I have... excess! Yay yay yay, absolutely love having control of my finances for the first time in my life!! Merci beaucoup to Jennifer! Without her, I never would've gotten here.

*No clothing purchases - This was mostly a success. I made 2 exceptions to my no-shopping rule: (1) I bought the TranquiliT leggy because they were 40% off, and I'm in desperate need of new yoga pants/leggings. (2) Bday shopping at Anthropologie with my 15% discount. I'm OK with those exceptions and was tres good otherwise. :)

*Bring lunch to work 2X/week - FAIL. I think I only did this one week.

*C25k 2X/week (Couch to 5k running program) - SEMI-FAIL. I def. did it at least once a week, and maybe 2x a week for a couple weeks.

*Bed by 11 p.m. and other Abundant AM's steps (micromovements to a morning ritual) - COMPLETE AND UTTER FAIL!!! This has been sooooooo unbelievably hard for moi. :(

*Complete 2 lessons of Rosetta Stone French - Also complete and utter FAIL.

*Ignore inner critic and squash judgmental voice (more on this later) - Sort of better, but still struggling beaucoup.

*Embrace 26 - YES!! This birthday was one of the best. I felt OODLES of love and support, and I think 26 will be a wonderful year!

I know my September will be busy and full of a lot of non-negotiables, like work. In anticipation of that, I want my goals to be a bit lighter this month. And now, without further ado, voila my

September Goals:

~ Improve/reduce dining out spending (this is where I have the most trouble, surprisingly)

~ Love my body as it is RIGHT NOW, not 5 years ago or sans 30 lbs, etc. (this will prob. be an ongoing goal, but thought I'd put it in here anyway!)

~ Finish book club books before book clubs meet (The Lovely Bones and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society)

~ Create and stick to my Balancing Rules, aka the rules I have implemented in order to maintain balance in my life. As a dear friend said, I. Come. First.

~ Work on my morning ritual

~ And most importantly, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! I have a major problem with guilt over the stupidest things. I want to learn to let go of this guilt, it has no positive effect on my life.

What are your September goals?

{photo credit: NixieMichelle on flickr}

Apt Therapy

I've been bitten by the design bug once again, and I can't stop drooling over gorgeous interiors, particularly those with multitudes of whites. As such, I am (naturally) contemplating such painting in my petite abode. My apartment's gone through countless transformations over the past 20 months, and while I don't intend on doing a dramatic overhaul, I am eagerly looking forward to some fresh change.

Mostly? I want to declutter, simplify and downsize. Luckily I recently became the owner of a storage unit across the hall from my apartment (negotiated with my apt manager since, um, THEY RAISED MY RENT), and today after work, I'm going to pick up the key and start hauling crap over there. Eventually I hope to sell or donate the "crap" I'm "storing", but that all takes time, and for now, I want it out of my apartment.

As for painting, there is a loooong wall that spans the entire length of my apartment (entry/dining/living room) that has never been painted. The current color is grey-ish (my apt is "loft"-y), which doesn't bother me too much (since it ain't beige), but I want a crisp clean white. I love white walls and white furniture with POPS of color. I have oodles of color in my apartment already, so a long white wall would fare nicely. Do you have any recommendations as to a good white paint? I'm a fan of Benjamin Moore. I also want to paint my bed white, but you knew that already. ;-)




I recently stumbled across Jennifer Ramos's lovely house tour. I love her home because it's so real, but still personalized, design-worthy, and beautiful. I also love her prints and recently made her I Love You, Blogs and Coffee one mine. I framed it over the weekend and will post pics as soon as I get my new dining table (that is currently sold out at IKEA - grrr).



I particularly love her office and *SO* wish I could get rid of all my standard (and BROWN) office furniture. Yuck.



What's your design aesthetic when it comes to your home?

Journal + Crafts

As a child I began journal after journal (normally of the Sanrio variety avec adorable locks and keys and maybe 6 lines per page), but usually abandoned them after a couple of days. My intentions were sincere, but well, as a kid I preferred riding my bike and playing with barbies.

I didn't take another serious stab at journaling until my 2nd year of law school. It was the Spring of 2007, and I just had recently returned to school after a semester of withdrawal. I thought, what better time than now, as a recovering depression-holic to start a journal? Looking back I'm pretty unimpressed with my first choice - a boring black spiral-bound one from Barnes & Noble that had a tree and quote on the cover. Since then my journals have gotten prettier, and I've amassed quite an interesting collection. There have been ebbs and flows, naturally, but I've been an avid and consistent journaler since that Spring. I'm hooked.

Recently I've taken my journal in new and (exciting to moi) directions. I've started collaging, painting un peu, and even doodling in them (je suis a terrible artist). Today I stumbled across this journal on etsy and kicked myself for having missed out on the chance to purchase it for myself.



But as I looked at it, I realized hey, this is something I could sort of attempt to make my own. I mean, I'm a smart gal. And avec the magic that is the google search engine, I could make a pretty fun and fab and customized journal! Then a fellow Tweeter tweeted about this fab etsy shop and got even MORE ideas! I mean check out this fun French Market Vintage Journal kit -

Isn't it sooo fun? I adore all her petit embellishments, and I think I might indulge in some. :)

Anyhoo, have you guys ever tried something like this? How hard is it to, um, punch holes in bookcovers?? And what other fun (and EASY) bookbinding techniques are there? I know there are some that involve sewing, and I gotta say, that's not my cup of tea (yet). I'd love any ideas/suggestions you have, my darlings!!

Oh and speaking of gorgeous things, how much do you adore PaPaYa Art? I LOVE all their stuff!!! And they have a gorgeous workspace and warehouse which you can see here at decor8. Enjoy!

Table for 1

Hello and welcome to my difficult blog post.

I'm pretty open and honest on this blog and probably write a lot of things I don't want my family/friends/employer/random strangers to read. But my blog doesn't have a theme or a niche, my blog is all about moi. So for me, honesty and a little intimacy is key.

That being said, there are a couple of topics that I have avoided for the most part, and this post is about one of them - being *gasp* single.

I have technically been single for almost 4 years now, but truly, I've only really been single for about 2, and that's because I spent the first 2 of those years obsessing/crushing/dating/whatever-ing with one boy or another (all inevitably ending in heartbreak or admitting and finally recognizing that "HE'S GAY"). I was really good at crushing, always have been (with girls too - love me some girl crushes!), and since it's been so long since I've had a crush, an object of my affection and attention and obsession, it's been... weird. Disconcerting.

And for some reason, in the past year, I've started feeling "pressure" from friends and family (and yes, perfect strangers) to find "the one." Or, at least, someone to date. One friend told me, "I think you've just been single for long enough. It's time to put yourself out there!" My mom and dad drops hints (okay they're not really hints, more like boulders) every time I see them. Even Ma Soeur makes comments like, "NO Carolyn, you are not allowed to get another dog until you have a boyfriend!" Okay... To say that I'm less than pleased with these comments is an understatement. But until very recently, I hadn't truly figured out how I feel about being single, and so my responses have been limited to, "But... there's no one out there" and "Boys are ugly" and "I'm TRYING!" (Fact: The last is so not true. I haven't been trying at all.)

Last week I went to an event with Christine Arylo, the author of Choosing Me Before We, who was recently featured in a podcast avec the lovely Kimberly Wilson. I went to this event unfamiliar with Christine's book and figured it was all about finding yourself, loving yourself, respecting yourself, etc. Well, it is. BUT. It's a lot about doing all those things in order to be in a healthy relationship. And that, my friends, is the problem.

I don't want a relationship.

Did I just say that out loud?

I like being single.

How many times have you heard someone say that and knowing it not to be true? It's why I find it so difficult to say. I'm afraid I'll get the, "Oh... well good for you! Ahem... yeah." Because people assume that every woman is happier in a relationship than not in a relationship. And I assumed so as well! Everytime I read a blog about an adoring boyfriend (like Nina's Simon, I mean, how adorable is he??) or heard about someone's engagement, I thought I had to be depressed about it. Oh woe is me, the single one, sans boyfriend/partner/lover. But it was only when I was smacked in the face with reminders that I'm single that I got depressed about it. The rest of the time, I have been happily and obliviously living my single life with, well, joie de vivre and completely sans boyfriend. I may think my life lacks, but I rarely think it lacks because I don't have a man.

And all this, all this truth and realization, hit me during that event with Christine Arylo. Because I was in a room with women who were so obviously not okay with being single. And it made me sad for them, but very very happy for moi. Because I was okay. I AM okay. Not just okay, I'm FABULOUS! My life is wonderful right now. Sure it has its ups and downs, but I wake up every morning a little happier. That's the truth. And I just have this gut feeling that 26 is going to be an INCREDIBLE year, my best yet! How exciting is that? And how GREAT is it that my happiness is a result of moi and only moi? This has never happened to me before.

Because? Confession: I used to be a serial monogamist. Here's a summary of my relationship history: high school sweetheart, other boyfriend, then high school sweetheart again, with no less than weeks in between. At different points in time, I thought I was going to marry both of them. (I also broke both of their hearts and have been convinced that bad relationship karma was headed my way). But my point is, I was the girl who was always in a serious relationship. And no, I wasn't blissfully happy all the time, but I never had to deal with wearing the "single" label. And let me tell ya, it's a tough label to wear, especially in this society, and especially in the south. Being 25 and single in Texas is the equivalent of being 40 and single everywhere else. (Yet another reason I need to leave...)

So, this is me. And friends and family, if you're reading this (and i know some of you are...), please stop. Because I am happy. And I know you love me and want me to find my future husband and all that (and yes, I do too, just not right now), but you don't have to worry about me. I am just fine on my own. I'm discovering myself in all kinds of new and shiny ways, and I am loving each and every second of it. It's divine.

Bonjour, 26!

Bonjour, my lovelies! Oh you've all been so divine with your birthday wishes, and I sincerely thank you. You totally made my day (and week!). I've been so blessed with love this birthday, and so unexpectedly, that I've spent the majority of the last few days with a huge smile on my face. It's so funny to think that one month ago, I was dreading my 26th birthday and wanting it to pass quietly. (That's so not moi... i should've known better!) Anyhoo, I'm so behind on thank you notes, thank you tweets, thank you emails, and thank you facebook messages and hope to catch up at some point this weekend. Not to mention catching up on blogs and blogging!

Yesterday I began my 26th bday with a fun and challenging yoga class. I don't know what it was about yesterday, but I was fearless! I kicked up into handstand for the first time ever without assistance (and actually hung out there for a few seconds!), *finally* felt what it was like to balance in headstand, did backbend push-ups (had no idea I had the strength), and even attempted some scorpion-esque poses (all near the safety of a wall, of course!). It was intense and fun and felt SO good.

Afterwards, mon amie C & I went home to pack for Barton Springs, picked up some yummies from Central Market, and then hit the Springs. It was UNBEARABLY hot with little to no breeze, but luckily the water in the Springs is freakishly cold so we spent 3 hours alternating between laying out and jumping into the freezing pool. Next time I am bringing a float! Voila a glimpse into Austin's beloved Barton Springs -



Divine, isn't it? I can't wait to go back avec float and more H2O!

After the Springs, we got sushi at a fun new sushi restaurant mere steps from my apartment, had some wine and oodles of laughs. Topped off the day with delicious peanut butter froyo. Mmmmm delish. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday.

Of course now, I'm exhausted and soooooo did not want to wake up and get dressed for work this morning. Luckily I woke up to this sweet face, which somehow put me in a better mood:



Don't her legs look freakishly long? That's because they are! Oh how I love my little (giant) Lola bear!!

How are you darlings?? I'm missing you masses!! Tell me what's been going on!

E-book Review: Discovering Your Right Livelihood

I had the immense pleasure of being offered a chance to check out this fabulous e-book from the amazing and inspiring Ana of Creatuitive Coaching. As someone who is on a (seemingly) constant quest to carve my authentic path, I was more than delighted to indulge in this interactive workbook. As I'm sure many of you know, there are oodles of books on the market aimed at this sort of self-discovery. The thing I love the most about Discovering Your Right Livelihood, and what I think makes it so valuable, is that it is an affordable and eco-friendly 14-page e-book that you can (and will) actually complete. How many times have you started a self-help book, with the highest of intentions, only to find it 8 months later, covered in dust and under your bed? Exactly. Another wonderful about Discovering is that because it is an e-book, you can complete it time and time again. The exercises inside it are as appropriate for the first timer who decides it's time to discover her passions as well as for the well-seasoned regular who engages in self-exploration on a full-time basis. I highly recommend it!

Also, right now Ana is offering a special reduced price 60-minute coaching session via phone with the purchase of her e-book. Find out more about it here.

Merci beaucoup, Ana, for this delicious gem!!