Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Lean On Me

Dear Readers,

I know i sound like a broken record, but thank you thank you THANK YOU for your amazing support. I've already deleted yesterday's post, but not before i copied and pasted all your lovely comments into a word document and printed it out. I've read these words a number of times already. You. are. incredible. (Btw, not only did you comment, but those of you who couldn't took the time to send me personal emails and even multiple tweets - i mean, how did i get so lucky?)

First, it just goes to show how nice y'all are that i didn't get a single, "SHUT UP you whiny brat and stop complaining about your ridiculously overpaid job and plush life!!!" I mean, seriously, i know i deserved it a little bit. (Note: When i mentioned this to Ma Soeur, she responded with, "That's what i would've said!" One word: H8ER.) Second, not only did you offer virtual hugs and words of comfort, but you also took the time to say something to me. Can i just say, that means the world to me? I'm not sure when or how it happened, but in the past few months we (yes, all of you and moi) seem to have created the most beautiful online blog/twitter/whatever friendship and support circle, and i just LOVE it. It fuels me. It gets me through hard times. It brings tears of joy and gratitude to my eyes. It makes me warm and fuzzy inside. It makes me laugh and clap my hands and dance around. It's so GREAT! Don't you agree?

I have a lot of friends from various stages in my life, and i love and appreciate all of them. But there's something so special and unique about making virtual friends (and not in that creepy, pedophile chatroom sort of way). We connect, not just because we're in the same graduate program or our Mom's are friends, but because we share similar interests, thoughts, feelings, creative expressions. It's like we bypass all the frivolity that so often comes with normal relationships and get down to the deep nitty gritty. And for that reason i feel compelled and completely comfortable with sharing my thoughts with you, no matter how silly/wretched/whiney/cheesy they may be. And you never fail me. You surpass my wildest expectations every time, and our friendship deepens continously. I love you more and more with every blog post, every tweet. (Author's Note: When i got sick with strep, the FIRST people who noticed my silence/absence were my fellow tweeters. How funny/endearing is that??)

Wouldn't it be amazing if we could all rendez-vous? Wouldn't it be SO fun to have a blogger weekend somewhere fabulous? We could eat delicious food, relax by the pool, sip champagne cocktails, and dish about our jobs, our love lives, our families, our latest purchases. ;) I still think that one day, this will become a reality. And, in the meantime, just know that i appreciate you more than words can say. And if i could lay on the beach and giggle and laugh and share my deepest darkest secrets with you, as i do my "normal" friends (ok, maybe not on the beach), i would. (I would also bake you cupcakes, insist we get pedicures, and encourage every fun purchase possible! Yes, i am an enabler.)

Now, in response to what you actually said, I'm still processing. Your suggestions were brilliant, and i am totally going to use/implement/incorporate them. (Also, for those of you who so graciously extended your contacts so that i could chat further, i am definitely going to take you up on that, it just might take me awhile!) I have some free time this weekend and plan on using it to dive deeper, reflect, process, read your comments again, pray, journal, collage and emerge with some semblance of a plan. Or, at the very least, some small steps/micromovements towards establishing a plan. :) I will (obviously) share this journey with you so get ready!

One last thing - i have yet another favor to ask. I absolutely adore sending my friends snail mail, be it little notes, thank you's, mixed CD's, stickers (yes i sent my bestie from law school My Little Pony stickers once), etc. Don't you love getting fun nonbill-y stuff in the mail? If so, then i ask that you please email me ( your contact information. (Obvi i will keep everything confidential.) I know it sounds kinda weird, but i promise not to stalk you and only send you lovely things. ;)

On that note, i must run. But i have more posts soon to come (including a blogger award from darling Tiffany - it's my first! And an exciting upcoming blogger rendez-vous with beautiful Sarah. More details soon!). Also - i desperately need to update my blog list to the right b/c so many of you aren't on it. Will do it asap. Ciao bellas!


P.S. Most of all? Thank you for believing in me.


Rachel said...

So I read yesterdays post but didn't have a chance to comment.

Let me start off by saying I did not go to law school, but I admire that you have. I, however, went to a very pricy university and am now sitting on mountains of debt. I also moved back in with my parents in an attempt to pay off some debt but school debt seems impossibly overwhelming. So I kind of feel your pain.

If you need someone to talk to, let me know!

MGS Photography said...

I feel like we are semi in the same place trying to figure out what we really want to do with our lives and I am so glad I found you on twitter! I know whatever decision you make will be the right one, but know that if it's not, everything will eventually work itself out. And there is nothing a good cupcake can't fix ;)

PS, will totally be sending you an email, my bff and I used to always send each other snail mail, stickers and the like and have since gotten too lazy...but there's nothing like finding a little note in your mailbox <3

AnalieseMarie said...

Hi Carolyn...I read your post, but, like Rachel, I also did not have a chance to comment yesterday. I just wanted to say that I totally think you should go for it! I left a high-paying corporate job for a low-paying non-profit job that is gratifying and allows me to fulfill my passion (writing) every day. It's the best decision I ever made, and I haven't looked back. You have to follow your dreams, and follow your heart and it sounds like you know what you want. Give yourself permission to follow your dream. As someone who has been there, I don't think you'll regret it! *hugs* And by the way, I am all for the idea of a bloggers' weekend!

Chelsa Bea said...

Carolyn -
Like the other two lovely ladies I did not get a chance to comment yesterday but I did have a chance to read your blog. Do what makes you happy. I really believe that. Whether its continuing working in law or becoming a creative assistant. You are an ambitious, strong, and probably extremely driven person, who know matter what she does will be successful. Whatever you do in life make sure it makes you happy because we only get one chance and when its over, it's over. Dream big and go for it!

Melita said...

sweetie, you mean so much to us. we are so lucky to have found you on the blogosphere. you will make the right decision.

and i'm totally in for the blogger's weekend!! :)

little bits of splendor said...

I am just impressed that you take time to be so reflective and try to make an effort to figure out how to rectify and improve things. I'm in the camp that mostly just whines a lot so it's something I notice about your entries (but I'll probably just continue whining myself and let you make the impressive efforts).