Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Confessions and K-Love

I'm really excited :-) Pourquoi? Well b/c tomorrow i am (finally) going to the dentist to get a cracked crown replaced. Since my dentist is way up north and work is downtown, i brought stuff to work on in the morning and will go to the office post-lunch. THAT means i can do a little sleeping in which in turn means i can do a little staying up late. (And by late i mean midnight at the latest - so sad.) This also means i have time to write this blog post that i've been meaning to write for awhile. This, my dear friends, is a confession to you.

I quit the shopping challenge.

OK "quit" is the wrong word. Let's just say that i decided the way i was going about it wasn't really the best way... at least for me. Remember how i said i was an "all-or-nothing" type of girl? Well the shopping challenge is more evidence of that. Going cold turkey, however, has brought out some really ugly parts of my personality. I've also found myself compensating by doing what i do best - excessive eating. Food and shopping are my biggest vices... when one goes away, the other explodes. It's no bueno. Also? I created a "THINGS TO BUY POST-CHALLENGE" document and added to it DAILY. The sad part? I know i would've dropped some serious cash on all those things the minute this self-imposed shopping ban was lifted. That was NOT the point. The point is NOT to be so focused on buying buying buying. The point is to think about my purchases ahead of time. The point is to save more, spend less. I was spending less, that is true, but only temporarily.

I realize this sounds like i'm just giving up, and believe me, i felt SO guilty about it, esp. after you guys were so supportive and enthusiastic about it! But just b/c i'm not going cold turkey does not mean my intention has changed. A dear reader told me that she waits one week to make any purchase over $75 - i think that's BRILLIANT. I will do that! Setting food and entertainment budgets and using a cash only system? Also REALLY great and i will definitely continue to do that. Debiting loan payments and other fixed costs as SOON as i get paid so i can't spend that money other things? Absolutely. I've set up automatic payments on pretty much everything. My point is - i am making significant changes. Gradual changes. I can't turn into a frugalista overnight, it's just not realistic. And for once i want to find my way to a livable middle ground instead of trying to immediately jump to the opposite end of the spectrum. Do you get my drift? Do you have more suggestions? Do you think I suck? (Tis OK if you screamed "OUI!")

Now - we are changing the subject completely.

Just wanted to send out some K-love (that's my nickname for Korean love ;-)) to Nina from Femme Rationale. Hers was a style blog i discovered awhile back, and i'm hooked. She's a gorgeous Korean girl in SoCal, living (from what i can see) to be a wildly creative life. Normally i'd hate someone like her (major jealousy, yo), but the thing is, i can't, because she's just SO NICE. And cool. So if you're into the fashion blogosphere, i highly suggest you check her out.

P.S. This week, despite its horrifying start, has been great! I am taking control at work, keeping busy, and remaining optimistic. Yay.


Anonymous said...

Oh NO girl!! I'm so sad it didn't work! I agree that the point of that kind of challenge is to be less focused on shopping, etc, so obsessing about it definitely doesn't mean you should keep with it.

I have not purchased anything since Ash Wednesday that was not necessary food items, the dogs' food or BARBRI [which I'm about to purchase]. Well, that's sort of a fib. I bought a package of pink bunny Peeps at the grocery store the other day, but I haven't opened them because I fear they violate the spirit of giving up shopping for Lent.

So maybe the success for me has been feeling the higher power to answer to? And, I have always been trying to convince myself to find ways to live life more simply, so this has helped somewhat. Anyway--I look forward to reading how the budgeting works out! You've inspired me to consider whether I can live without cable/DVR next year.

Bonjour Madame said...

Moderation is really the best approach. I tend to go all or nothing too and it often leads to major frustration after a period of time. If you learned some modifications during your shopping ban, that is great! Plus any progress or minor changes will add up.


Melita said...

at least you recognize when you are in over your head. like stephanie said, moderation, in both respects, spending and non-spending. there needs to be a balance. going from one end of the spectrum to the other, like you said, probably isn't the right approach for you. you aren't quitting, and we aren't mad at you for it. we are happy that you have found your spending medium. :)

City Girl said...

don't feel bad -- much better that you find what works for you to get to moderation than go on a shopping hiatus and then buy everything you want the day it ends.

Melita said...

oh yeah, i mentioned your blog in mine today.

...love Maegan said...

she is gorgeous and super stylish as well :) ...{I neeeeed to go to the dentist too ...but I'm stalling...:(}

Carolyn said...

you guys are the best! merci for understanding.. and yes, i do intend to change my behavior. just one step at a time :-)

Nina (femme rationale) said...

carolyn! i dunno what to say... you're just too sweet and i'm so undeserving of this "petit shout-out". thank you so much for always being so kind & super supportive. and thank you for your awesome emails - i always love hearing from you. major hugs & kisses to you from so cal!

xx Nina